At the End of the Day

Chapter 16 Leaving

   We were going to talk to Jamie, but Peter thought it would be better if she found out in pieces or not at all. Which I thought about it and he is right. She would probably feel bad and fight against this so we agreed to not tell her until I was long gone.
   I told him that I would leave and not make really big apperances in his life. We agreed that we could call and text each other but not often. We need to move on in our life not hold on to each other and the less contact we have the better for just that to happen.
   "I am going to miss you. I know we agreed little contact but can we please talk at least once a week and maybe see each other once a year?" This was going to be extremely hard for him and I can see it now more then ever.
"I wish we could... We'll see how this goes and then we can decide from there." I could feel a tear slide down my face. He wipped it away with his thumb and gently leaned in and gave me a light kiss on my lips. The last kiss I knew I would ever get from him.
   When he pulled away I quickly gave him one more kiss and then said, "So remember just tell Jamie that I'm staying here or something, but you have to get her to leave." He looked down at his feet then back to my eyes before saying, "So you really are going to stay here?"
"Yeah. For now. Don't worry about me. I will be looking out for you and..." another tear slide down my face but this time we let it. "I promise I'll keep in touch with you."
   I got in a cab going to another hotel just for the night. I watched as Peter faded as the car went on not stopping. I knew it was going to be very hard for the first month, but I also knew we were doing the right thing.

---------- 3 months later----------

   Me and Peter have made small talk with each other mostly to just inform what is going on in each others life.
   Jamie and him are doing really good together. He said the day I left she was really sad but he told her I need time to live a life before I could settle down. She still asks about me and he just says I'm fine. They are actuall in a serious relationship and I'm happy for them.
   I have officially stopped cutting and drinking. I still smoke just not as much. I got tatoos to cover up the scares. They all remind me of the ones I never want to forget that I letf behind.
   Like I said, we both are still having a hard time dealing with this but we are doing better as you can see. And all of  that means the world to me. He has his love and I can see him be happy knowing I did the right thing.
   Maybe we can meet up once a year and then work our way up to seeing each other more often, but only as really close friends. I don't want to cause any kind of difficultys for them.
   I still look in on Josh to see what his life holds. It's not really pretty. Monica that he left me for left him, on the street. It serves him right but I don't want to see him suffer unneededly. So I sent him just enough money for an appartment. To get him going on his own first. We never talk to each other, and haven't since the day he left for good. It does not bother me though because just like Peter I was not meant for Josh. I understand that and accept that.
   The day I left I went to find Ed Sheeran. I thought maybe he could help me farther my music career. Which he has and for that I am greatful. I have talked to him about my past I plan to leave behind. He understands and has even helped me to move on.
   We talk all the time about thing for our childhood and things we have over come. It always makes a good conversation on down time. We can talk to each other about anything. It is a good thing for me. I never had such a friend like him and it is doing me really good. He is the one that did all of my tatoos for me so that was cool.
   The next time I go to visit Peter and Jamie he is going with me. He really wants to meet them and while we are down that way we are going to visit my old friends I haven't saw in forever. I think he is going to love them.
   Me and Ed are not a couple at all. We are just really really good friends. I know that there is no way that I will never have a special person in my life all to myself but I am fine with having them just in my life even if they are not fully mine all to myself. There is a lot I have had to cope with and adjust to and this is one I am fine with. I will never be alone and more importantly I will never ever be heart broken by someone who claims to love me and only me. The people in my life love me and everyone else as well and that is fine because others need love just as much as I do.
   And that is my story of how I went all over the place trying to find out who cares about me and in what way they may care about me. I guess it does not matter how someone loves you just as long as their 'love'  is real.