"Hey Beth what's wrong? You have been acting strange." Peter asked. We were currently in Londan. My favorite place in the world at night. It is like magic. We were in a hotel laying on the bed. I knew it was now or never.
"I have to be very honest with you and I..." I can't. I can't do it. I could feel tears threatening to fall. He leaned in and gave me a kiss on my head. "I'm listening. Don't worry. I will understand and take whatever you say as best to my ability for you." I felt reassured by this. I have to do this it is for the best.
"You know how Jamie is really nice,... pretty,... kind,... even prefect."
"Hey. Hey. Hey. Are you trying to tell me that you are jealous of her?"
"No I'm trying to say that... That she is the one for you. The one you are meant to love. To be with. To love forever." By now I could no longer hold back my tears. I hated myself for saying it but I knew I had to.
"No. No I love you. You are the one I am meant to be with." He sounded so confused.
"No. You don't understand." I said trying to explain.
"No you don't understand! I love you." He said slightly raising his voice.
I could see his eyes starting to shimmer with tears. I know this is hard for him just as much as it is for me, but I can live no more knowing that I am standing in between his happyness and what is right for him.
"You fell in love with me because I looked and reminded you of Samantha." I blurted out quickly. I felt that is the only way to tell him. Quickly and straight foward, so I continued that way. "You may have loved me then and you may still love me now, but you should know that Jamie is really the one you love. I can see the way ya'll look together. The way you look at her. You may not see it but I do.
"I thought that we were in love, and that we were meant to be together, but then I see you with her. That is real love what you have with her.
"You loved me because I was a memory. You love her because she is real. I want you to be happy because I love you. They say that if you really love someone you will let them go. What that really means is that... I love you but I can see that Jamie is the right one for you. You need to be happy with the right person loving you. I love you and want the best for you. I know that you love me as well..." I started to cry a little more. I have to do this. I keep telling myself.
"I have accepted that love is not in my future. Ever. I know that I can never have that love that is between you and Jamie. I can't because I was not able to love myself. If I can't love me how could I love someone else? I can't. I loved you and I still do. That is why I am saying this because I want the best for you... And the truth is I will always love you. I can't hold you back. I do however still want to be part of your life if I can. Please understand that I still love you." I wipped away his tears with my hands as I let my own fall freely now.
"I understand. It is killing me, but deep down I know you are right." I went to go and sleep on the couch to cry by myself when he grabbed my arm. I could see the need in his eyes and it ripped my insides to pieces.
"Please. Stay. I want to hold you at least one more time. I want you to cry with me and not alone. I want this night of us to last as long as I can have it to. I want... I want to spend one last moment with you in my arms as us belonging to each other."
"Okay." Was the only word I could manage to say. I climbed in to the bed beside him as he wrapped his arms around me and softly cried.
We cried ourselves to sleep that night. But at least we had each other for one more day. To be together for each other. I hated knowing that I was going to lose him, but I knew I would lose him to someone who will love him more then I ever could. She would be all that he could ever ask for in a woman, and knowing that helps me with the knowledge of being without him.
I knew that it was going to be hard for us both, but I also know that we need to take this one day at a time. But for now I will enjoy the time I still have with him in his arms, because I know I'm going to miss him.
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At the End of the Day
FanfictionA girl named Beth has a hard life and just wants to be happy. She faces a lot of bad things but she has her friends to help her through it. In the end she finds out who her real friends are and who are only pretending.
