Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 1

Someone knocks on the door and I answer it not knowing who it is. But was surprised to see Trevor. "Caroline." he says quietly and I furrow my eye brows. "Hey, how'd you find me? What are you doing here?" I ask him and step back to let him in. "Harry wouldn't tell me where you were, so I got it from Jessica." he says and I wince at the use of his name. I haven't heard his name be spoken in almost 3 months. That's how long it's been. I see his name everywhere, hear his songs everywhere, he's been doing some great things, he's done a lot of charity things lately, he performs on a lot of the talk shows and he looks like he's truly doing well. It kills me to see him though. There's just no avoiding him. 

"So you guys are over?" he asks and I nod as I shut the door. The pain was coming back and I didn't want to talk about it. "So you ended up going to vet school after all." he half way smiles. I didn't.

"I hate it." I mumble and his smile slips away. "Why? This is what you wanted." he says and my anger rises again. "No, it's not. Why does everyone think they know what I want or what's best for me? Can I get a damn say in anything?" I snap and he just stares at me blankly. "Sorry." I apologize and sit on the couch. 

He sighs and joins me, giving a moment to settle and let me relax. Except it seems everyone stays quiet around me because of my loose temper at times. I don't ever relax. I haven't relaxed since... since..... Harry.... left me here. The thought of his name hurt again and my temples started to throb. I belong in a mental institute, I swear.

"You're not over him, are you?" he quietly asks and I swallow, shaking my head in frustration. "No, it's just everything around me, it's all him. This apartment, no way in hell could I afford it. My car, that was a birthday present when we... were together. Me going to vet school? He paid for it all, not giving me any say or warning. He left me here to be haunted by him." I say fisting my clammy hands. 

"So you mean he didn't just drop you off here to fend for yourself?" he asks and I furrow my eyebrows and shake my head. "No. Well, yes. But not the way you're thinking.He had everything planned. He knew what he was doing. He somehow managed to put enough money in my bank account for 5 months worth of rent for this place and enough for the car. I haven't touched it, though and refuse to use it." I mutter. 

"Why? How are you paying for this then?" he asks and I shrug. "Because, one. It's his money and I refuse to take it from him. Two, I had enough saved up because I never had anything to pay for when I lived with him. He refused to let me buy anything on my own. And three, I can make my own decisions now." I say slouching into the couch further. 

"But, I'm already running out of money and can't find a job. I don't know what I'm gonna do." I say and he turns sideways to face me. "Have you seen your family recently?" he asks and I nod. 

"I visit my mother every other week. She's not really doing well. Doctors say she's got 4 months to live." I say coldly and he just looks at me. "You drive to Colorado and back every other week?" he asks and I nod. "No matter how bad they raised me, she's still my mother. She actually talks to me now like a normal mother and daughter. Mikey keeps me updated while I'm here." I explain and he glances away and exhales. He didn't speak for a long minute and since he was looking away, I looked at him. He cut his hair short. It curved over his forehead now. It worked for him. It made him look more his age. In normal standards, he's considered very attractive but I've known him so long it doesn't phase me. 

He looks back at me and I look down. "Why don't you come live with me then? My lease is almost up, we could find something. It digs you out of a rut at least." he shrugs and I look at him blankly. "I can't move that far away from school, Trevor." I say and he shrugs. "We could find something down here." he offers and I shake my head. I can't believe we were even considering this. "But then you're too far away from work." I remind him and he shakes his head. "We could find something in between that would work." he says and I glance away.