Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 48

Harry was sitting at the bar, a girl next to him but I don't think it was intentional from the looks of it. 

My heart went to a hundred places right now. Anger, sorrow, you name it. I wanted to run up to him and hug him and hit him and cry. I read all of his text messages. Everyone of them. I cry almost everytime I see a message from him. It's been three weeks now without him. Now all the pain is coming back. He was staring back at us, his eyes were glassed over, he looked pissed. Very pissed. His eyes went down to my hand still on Phillips arm and I let go. 

"Maybe we should just go home." he says and I shake my head. "No, it's okay, I promise. Sit." I tell him and order a drink for myself. Phillip orders what he wants. He had a cup at the party but he wasn't very phased, well, until about his 5th shot that is. I didn't really notice he was drunk until he dropped his phone and started giggling. His laugh was weird to me because I've never heard him really laugh out loud. He's always so quiet. 

It made me laugh to. Except I stopped when I glanced over and saw Harry leaned on the bar with the girl that was next to him, her arms around him, his lips on hers. I stared hard and felt every ounce of anger burn. This is why I left him. But he keeps telling me how much he loves me and then does that? My staring was very noticable to Phillip cause he touched my arm. I jumped back into reality and he cleared his throat. "He's only doing that cause you're with me, Caroline." he says and I down the rest of my drink. I wanted to be more drunk. Drunk until I could just erase what I saw. I couldn't help but look back over and watch again. 

The blond was enjoying it very much. Her tongue down his throat. I almost gagged. I couldn't help the protectiveness setting in. I wanted to kick that twiggy blond. I wanted to do the damage I did to Rebecca. 

"You can get back at him you know?" Phillip asks and I look back at my empty glass, growing more upset cause I had no more to drink. 

"How?" I ask and he shrugs. "He's doing that to make you jealous, how about we make him jealous?" he asks and I look at him, taking a minute to process, everything was so delayed. 

"You mean, us kiss?" I ask and he nods. "Why not? It doesn't have to mean anything." he says and I look at him funny and laugh. I never thought this would ever happen in my life. Doing everything I said I'd never do. I feel awful, but I wanted some control like Harry does. He has his claws in me, I want my claws back in him. 

"You sure?" I ask and he nods. "We're in a bar at 3 am bloody drunk, there's not much more damage we can do here." he says and I shrug. "Only if you're okay with it." I say and he shrugs, pulling my chair over to his and tilting my chin up. This felt so wrong but he was such a good guy. 

He didn't play around either, he tilted his head and immediately parted my lips. It shocked me at first but I told myself that this wasn't real. He felt different than Harry. He was in a way, less cautious as Harry. I had to be very cautious with him because of my teeth. That's when I realized, shit. His blood. 

His scent was a little much to handle to begin with. All it took was one mistake. When he tried to enter his tongue I tried to pull away but didn't want him thinking I was upset or disappointed. Kissing him was kind of fun actually. I rose out of my seat, climbing on his lap and pulling his chin back over to mine. 

I could taste the alcohol stronger than ever and it only made me more drunk but his hands came around my thigh and hip. "Can I be honest with you?" I tell him and he nods. Glancing down at my lips again. I think he was enjoying this more than I was. "I haven't kissed many people before." I tell him and he smiles. "I haven't either. Come here." he mumbles and pulls me back to him. His lack of experience wasn't very noticeable. His possessiveness wasn't as prominent as Harry's but his lack of control was enough to get your attention. He was always so quiet and calm, who knew?