Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 27

I had waken up from a dream but it wasn't Matt or his disgusting chamber or the horrid thick air that lingered in that building that made me cry. It was Harry this time, it was a flashback of when he took my virtue, my purity, in that hotel room. The flower pedals scattered over the bed, the small lamp being the only source of light, then there's Harry, wearing that black button down shirt I came to love that clung to his torso in the most perfect way. His hair was way shorter then, just covering his forehead to the side and the little curls towards the ends. That was when he walked around with that high confidence level and talked with arrogance. He was so readable just by his eyes. It was his flaws that made him so beautiful. The flashback was so clear like it happened just a few hours ago but in reality it was over 8 months ago. I was so naive then. Only if I had known what was to come of my fate later on. 

Harry's hand had slid off my arm when I had sat up and exhaled a shaky breath. My hands and forehead were clammy and a few tears had slid down my cheek but it wasn't due to any nightmare. I don't know why I was crying. 

"Another nightmare?" he asks raspily and I shake my head as I wipe my cheeks. "Then what was it?" he asks and I look over at him. He was very sleepy still but his eyes held their normal glow. But after looking back at the dream, the look in his eyes now was completely different than in the dream. His were softer now, they held more life. They glimmered a little more. He looked a little more dreamy. 

I looked away and exhaled again hoping to relieve some of the weight off my shoulders. "It was about you." I say and he sits up a little looking confused or slightly worried. "Good or bad?" he asks a little more awake. He still looked extremely tired. 

I close my eyes and shake my head. "I don't know." I say honestly. 

He lifts his hand to rub my shoulder and encourage me to lay back down so I moved closer to him and embraced his torso. "It was about us... the first time we-" I stop myself and sigh. I knew he understood when he rubbed my arm. "Does it upset you that I took your virginity, Caroline?" he asks quietly after a long moment. I think about it for a  while. I was kind of surprised with how openly he said it but was I honestly carrying any guilt about it?

I felt Harry start to stiffen as I waited to answer. "No, I don't." I answer honestly and feel him relax a little. 

"It would've made it worse if Matt took it, so no. I'm glad I lost it willingly and with meaning." I say purposely and his arms relax around me as he kisses my temple. "Good." he speaks and rests his head back down on the pillow. My head was on his chest and was the most comfortable place I could be right now. Once I closed my eyes his head shifted and his arm came around me to stroke my hair. "Do you regret taking it, Harry?" I ask and one of the dogs woke up to move closer up to us on the bed. 

"No," he answers and pauses. "I want to be as many firsts for you as I can." he answers sleepily. 

I trace one of his tattoos on his arm, he's been keeping his clothes on at night for me cause I just get too edgy still. "First breakup, first bitten, first heartbreak-" 

"First one to love you and mean it, first boyfriend, first kiss, first one to chase you over the country, first one to make your life worth while, first one to give you a chance." he interrupts me with a little firmer voice and I sigh, not answering. He's right but I wasn't happy about it. 

                                                                                   ***

I woke up in the morning to a heavy suffocation on my chest and my mind immediately darts to memories of Matt and when my eyes shot open, I jumped somehow pushing the massive weight off and stumbling out of the bed with a noise coming out somewhere between a squeak and a shout. But it wasn't Harry, because he jumped up on the other side of the bed. The dog, go figure, was standing on the edge of the bed looking hurt and confused. It was the dog laying on me.... The dog for goodness sake. "What's wrong?" he asks rubbing his face to wake himself up and I stand up and shake my head.