Something I'm Not 2- History (Sequel)

Chapter 25

I had gotten bored with the movie after about 20 minutes of it. I was having a very difficult time not moving because I knew she would grow tense again. I had noticed a long thin scar down her neck that traveled from below her ear to the edge of her jaw and faded under her neck. It grew my curiosity because we don't usually scar unless we're low on blood for the amount of time it takes the injury to heal. I wanted to just lean down and kiss her shoulder so damn bad. Get things started, pick her up and finish her upstairs in my bed. Lose myself in her. I missed her too damn much and it sucks having her right here and not being allowed to do anything. 

I pull her hair off her shoulder and look closer at the scar and she had noticed and covered it with her hand. "What happened?" I ask her and she shivered. I loved it when she reacts to me talking quietly in her ear. "He whipped me." she answers, my mood quickly dissipating to anger, not towards her, towards myself and Matt. I swallowed it and sighed. "Can I ask you a question?" I ask and she sits up off of me, and I sit up too just to remain close to her. "I can't guarantee I'll answer it." she answers stubbornly. I sigh again and look down at her smaller arms that were a blank canvas compared to mine. "When he told you why he wanted his shot back at me, about Rebecca, what did you think of me?" I ask with a lump in my throat and she plays with her thumbs. "Well, I had just walked in the door coming home from being with you, and Matt was there with Trevor. All I remember is Trevor looking at me, him walking away and Matt knocking me unconscious. Matt had explained to me everything after I had waken up I told myself I'd never please another man if I ever got out of it. I hated Trevor, I hated Matt, I hated...." she stops before she went on and looked very confused. "You hated me." I finish for her and she looks away. Not answering. 

"But you were right about Trevor. Of course." she mutters. "If I would've just had listened and moved back in with you, none of this would've happened." she says and wipes a tear. I lay my hand on hers and she pulls away so I touched her arm. I knew I was right, it was getting her to understand that was the problem. "Caroline, if it makes it any better, I never stopped looking for you after you left. I called every fucking day and after two weeks of no response, I had went back to America looking for you. Delayed part of the tour. I went to the school, I went to the house, I even went to Denver." I tell her and she looks at me with a tug at the corner of her mouth wanting to smile but it couldn't form. She hasn't smiled or laughed since we got her out of there and I was desperate to get one out of her. 

"I heard. But it wasn't necessary." she says and I brush off the blow. "Yes it was. I knew you couldn't be that upset over an argument like that. It wasn't like you to ignore that many calls. You would've answered just because you were pissed at me blowing up your phone." I say and earn a faint laugh out of her. I had felt like I had won something except it was missing in her eyes. 

"Harry, why do you even try? Why don't you go find someone else that could give you want in life? Someone worth it." she asks in a serious but light tone. "Because all I want in my life is you. Making you happy is all I can find myself trying to do. I've tried to be with other girls and I just don't... get that connection. You have that spark." I tell her as honestly as I could and she just looks at me. "Well that spark is gone Harry. Trevor poured the water on it and it's dead after it burnt." she says and gets up. "I'm going to bed." she says quietly and I watch her. "All you need is another match." I say to her and she stops and looks at me. "Maybe that was the last one." was her response and she started up the stairs. "Then you can take one of mine." 

She glanced over her shoulder at me and didn't respond. I hated ending tonight like this but it could've been worse. I can deal with a depressed Caroline than an angry one. Except I woke up to her screaming and stumbled to her door. She woke up the moment I touched her and I jumped back even when she jumped. She didn't have a nightmare when she slept in my bed.... More evidence she still needs me.