Not so Big Brother

4. New bud

Guess what i'm doing and where am i now.

No. I'm not in a bar on drinking alcohols or doing anything rated 18+, chill mom. Stop being a paranoid.

Don't you dare lie to me you didn't think that.

"Hey again hot head."

"Ha ha. Very funny." Raph rolled his eyes as i jumped down from the water tower.

"So you did miss me, huh?" I smirked as i crossed my arms.

"Shut up. I'm only here to blow off some steam."

"Just sayin'." I said while putting my hands up in surrender.

I sat down beside him, staring at the glowing lights of New York below. Men, women, old hags, some nice old people, kids, childs, babies, preteens, teenagers, young adults, adults, girls, boys, dogs (btches), cats, cows (wait what?), mooses (oh my gawd), pigeons.. you name it, they're all down below. Somehow the city that i thought smaller than it looks was big enough for them all. Includes us, mutants..

Oh great, i'm having these inner questions and thoughts about life. NOT one of perks of being a pre-teenager.

I was in deep silence after that. Even my mind was steadying, getting down from the high.

Again, no. I'm NOT that kind of high.

It's just,..
When the world's fate AND future was practiccly placed on your shoulder, plus the responsibilities as the 'oldest' and the leader, PLUS the secrets of the real you, it's not easy to be..

What's the word now?

Umm.. it's on the tip of my tongue..

It was.. something.. i knew it was! Uhh... f... nee-..niii...inn....

Oh right!

Fine.

It's not easy to be just fine.

I practiccly raised with two of myselves and i have no HECK of idea which one's the real me.

One is the usual oh-so-mighty-and-perfect fearless-leader in blue Splinter Jr. big bro; Leonardo.

The other is.. well.. the one who is actually the real me, but now i don't think so, crazy immature funny smart quick and the youngest; Ao.

It's a hard life. And i'm only fourteen who people thought sixteen and the one who never sees me would thought... about centuries old.

I took a quick 'how old actually you are' test while channeling my Leo-self in Quotev.com, don't ask.
But if i'm channeling Ao, it's usually young teenagers' age.

Back to topic.

See? You see?? I was so angsty and sentimental few seconds ago and in blink of an eye, poof! I'm crazy.

It's really hard to keep up like this.

Then before i knew it, i was humming quietly,-i think, to myself while spacing out.

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said, "I'll never let you go"
When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Yes, hunger games. Shut up, it's a good one.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound