my story- unleashed

chapter 6

author's note: dear readers its a request to spread the word and ask friends to give this a read as this project is very close to me. thanks to everyone who has been voting and liking my story-unleashed. also, i've decided to do letter-from-writer after 10 chapters so that'll be a special edition to my thoughts. keep voting and sharing :* 
thanks again. spread the word please. xoxo.
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so came the day when me, patrick, herlin and genovia went out for a friendly lunch. over friendly. 

we had just placed our orders when genovia got a call. 

"sorry people. i really have to go. i'll catch up with you all in the evening" said genovia. 
"its okay, i'll see you in evening. bye" i said waving her a bye. wish she had not gone. 

soon herlin and patrick were so engrossed in their conversation that they had forgotten their surroundings annd probably that i'm also here. i could see the eye contacts and passing of smiles. 

they had completely left me alone and i was just fiddling with my phone when the waiter came with the dishes. 

he himself served her and himself. i had to serve for myself. it's not that i cannot serve myself but he had served her and not me. i was hurt and it was pretty visible. i hadn't spoken since genovia had left and they didn't care to notice it. 

i could feel the insecurity and jealousy brewing inside me. i was way too angry too. i calmed myself and ate silently while they were all giggling and laughing. had i mentioned they both were sitting together on one side? he himself had offered her the seat. ouch. 

we paid and left. we decided to sit in a park for a while and obviously they both were walking in front of me laughing and sharing jokes. i was a few steps us before them fiddling with my phone. 

i felt something breaking inside of me. something really did happened on the inside that day. my feelings towards both of them had changed by now. 

we sat there in the park in silence. 
a few minutes later we returned home, herlin with a lot of memories and me with a lot of drafts. 

i rushed to the bathroom  and cried as much as i could. in that moment, i had felt my world crashing, my heart breaking and feelings being stomped over by none other than my closest cousin and my boyfriend. 

later in the evening we were sitting in the little garden i have and it was not shocking to me anymore that they couldn't feel my presence. 
i was lost in my own thoughts when herlin shook me.
"in which fairyland are you lost in phoebe?" she said laughing. 
a world apart from both of you and a better place for my heart , i wanted to say.

"nothing just some school work" i replied. 

"i was just asking patrick if he would try to stop you if you decide to leave"

"i guess he would maybe"

"well, no i guess i'll leave it you phoebe its your life and your choice."  

  touché !

i could feel the stinging sensation all over me and my body my senses losing all their control.
i broke down. 
before they could realize it, i ran to my bathroom and let it all out. 

i took up the little diary i had full of poems written for him, thought he would read them and get my point.  

as i reached back they both were standing bidding bye as he had to go back. it had got over his limit.

they hadn't even waited for me to return. :) 

"i'll walk you back home" i said. i had to give him the diary.

"okay" he said in the most disinterested manner he could use.

"why don't you join us too herlin?" 

the stinging sensation just returned after those words. the tears had again started to form. 

  Don't let them in, don't let them see
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know . this song kept playing in head. 

as we reached half way through,

"i guess i'll go from here you both return home its getting late, okay? he said

"okay we'll go" herlin replied without letting me speak.

"okay" i said in a low voice. i could feel the upcoming stream of tears.

"wait a minute! i have to give you something" i said

"what is it phoebe? please be quick." patrick replied.

"i have written something i would like you to read." i hand over the diary to him.

"i really cannot take this home phoebe please take it back, i'll read this later" 
he said as rudely as he could without even looking at it.

the tears were on the brim of my eyes and the last thing i want him to know is he has hurt me. nobody has the power to hurt.

never knew i'll become  immune ti this feeling called hurt.

i returned home crying with the notebook held tightly to my chest.

i didn't even turn to see if herlin was there with me or not. 

i returned home climbed up the bed and sat quietly. she came and started defending him profusely as to how i should become a little understanding of his situation. what she actually meant to say is stop acting like a bitch but she used a little lesser rude words. 

i told her to leave me alone. she went away in the drawing room.
i was sitting there with a blank mind. 
maybe an hour later she came again and told me to check my whatsapp and i told her there's no battery. she said to check my facebook inbox. i said i'll in a few minutes. 

she sat on the other end of the bed and got lost in her phone.

i took out my laptop and logged in. 

10 texts. its him.