The Understanding Cowboy

Chapter 7

Jason's pov

I have bandages wound around my busted knuckles as I punch the punching bag. I steady the thing before going at it again. "Jason, you're ready for the ring." My eyes go wide. I'm excited. I get the gloves on and get in the ring. My opponent is throwing punches in the wind. My hands tense up when I see who it is. Dave. He looks over and his eyes get huge. "You?! What are you doing here??" He gripes. "None of your damn business, shithead." I growl, getting ready. I hear the bell ding and I rush at him, faking left and going right, I punch him in the side and he nails me in the chest. I fight back with a blow to the gut which makes him double over. I bring both fists down with a punch to the back. He quickly recovers and throat punches me making me gag and cough. My eyes blazen with anger. I punch him back to back in the stomach and nail him across the face. He goes flying into a corner against the ropes where I pound on him. "Jason! Stop that's enough!" My instructor Mike told me. I sigh and back up, my anger for this boy still on the high. I jump out of the ring as he slumps to the ground, coughing. "What the hell man?!" Mike shouts running over. "That's my girlfriend's brother." I gripe, taking the gloves off. I walk to the locker room to change, my body drenched with sweat. My hands grip tight to the sink, my breathing ragged.

~flashback~

I scream enraged at myself. Don't let them control you! Don't be who they want you to be! My parents want me to take steroids to improve my athletic ability. But I don't want to! I throw the steroids across the room. "I hate you!" I scream at myself in the mirror, digging in the drawer for my most used weapon. My razorblade. I sigh, glancing at my arms, my eyes filling with tears. "I'll never be good enough for them!" I grumble, slicing my arm. "I'll always have to be better, be perfect for them!" I slice my arm again and again then I hit my knees, dropping it and sobbing. Someone knocks on the door. "Don't come in!" I shout. But whoever it is doesn't listen and swings the door open. I hear a gasp and look up, seeing Sierra. "My God, Jason!" "I said don't come in! Get out!" But she walks in and slams the door. "I'm not leaving you to kill yourself!" She gasps, grabbing my blade. "Go away. Just leave me alone." "No. Get up. I can't believe you did this to yourself. Why?" "You wouldn't understand. No one would." "Try me."

~flashback over~

I try to shake the memory but it only adds fuel to the fire. My parents pushed me so hard when it came to baseball that it caused all that. Her parents and brothers beat her mercilessly to where it caused that for her. I can't stand it.

*later*

I get back home and take a much needed well deserved nap.

~in his dream, technically a flashback~

Sierra won't let me leave my room to go to school until I give her my razorblade. I clutch it tightly in my fist. "You can't control me! You're acting just like my parents!" "No I'm not. I'm the opposite of your parents. I wanna help you and not let you hurt yourself." She gasps, gently covering my hand with hers. "Leave me alone." I gripe, trying not to cry in front of her. "No. You're my friend and I care about you. Even if you don't care about yourself." I don't. My hands are shaking. She's somehow able to get the blade out of my hand. I hit my knees and cried. She lands beside me and hugs me. "What would I do without you?" I whimper. "Promise me you'll never do it again. I can't lose you Jason you're my best friend. Promise me!" "I.... I... Promise."

*he wakes up*

My body is drenched with sweat, remembering that awful day. The day I promised I'd quit cutting. That was almskt three years ago. Then I glance at my wrist where I cut myself a few weeks ago with her blade. I don't even know why I did that and I regretted it the instant I felt the blade on my skin. I take the picture out of my pocket. "I promise baby girl, I'll keep you safe." I whisper, fighting back the tears.