Love Me (editing)

Remember me?

I get into my house and slam the door. I throw my booties on the ground, stomp to my room and slam that door too. Unbelievable! This woman really expected me to just hand her my baby. Is she out of her mind? And great! Now she knows that I may have feelings for Noah. I know I have no chance with him. Especially against her. I look in the mirror. This morning I thought I looked hot. Now looking at myself, I look like a child.
What makes me the most upset is the fact that I know she's right. I barely have money in my savings and I have no parents to help me out. But I will not give up my child... Especially not to her.
I am determined to prove her wrong. I am capable of raising this baby. It's not all about money. Children need love, and love is free. I can afford that. I take the picture of the baby out of my purse and stick it on my billboard. I need to talk to someone, and Dayna's not home. I decide that maybe I should visit my grandma. I change into leggings and put my jacket back on. I grab an apple and head out the door.

**
I wait ten minutes before being able to see my grandma. I hope today is one of her good days.

"Hey Nana," I say to her.
She's sitting on a couch near her bed, looking through the window.
"Hi, dear," she says. She doesn't look at me.
"Nana, I'm pregnant and I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for this baby, but I can't abort it either."
She doesn't say anything still.
"The father..." I bite my lips. "This may be his only chance of having kids. How can I take this away from him?"
She looks at me now and holds my face in her hands.
"Josephine," she says. That's my mother's name. "You look so young. Honey, It's like your aging backwards."
"Nana, it's me. Avana."
She looks at me in confusion. "Avana honey, you look just like your mother."
"Nana, about the baby, what do I do?"
She smiles. "You won't be alone. Kyle will be there to help you. He's a good man." Kyle is my father.
Tears run down my face. I was hoping she wouldn't bring this up.
"God wouldn't put anything in your life if you weren't ready, honey. You'll be fine. You worry too much," she says. She lets go of my face and goes back to the window.
I get up and kiss her on the forehead. There's not much else I can really talk to her about. I wipe the tears off my face.
"Bye Nana," I say before I leave.

I get home, kind of disappointed that I couldn't have a real conversation with my grandma, but at the same time, hoping she was right about me being able to handle it.
"Hey," Dayna says as soon as I get in. She hugs me. She knows I saw my grandma. She always does. She says it's something in my eyes.
I try to visit my grandma as much as I can, but it's never easy. It's been years since my father died, but hearing it from my grandma really gets me. She also always mistakes me for my mother, who I've never really met. She left us when I was 1 year old. My dad never remarried because he always hoped that my mother would get cleaned up and come back to him. She didn't.

We sit down for dinner. Dayna made pasta.
I tell her about Devlin.
"Well she sounds like a royal bitch," Dayna says. "Look, Ava, I know I don't know anything about raising a child, but you know I'm here for you. I'll help you with the baby as much as I can."
I hug her. She looks at her
watch. "Shit, I forgot I had work at six." She gets up quickly from the table and speeds to her room. In five minutes, she dressed. I don't know how she does that. She puts her jacket on and turns to me.
"You know, maybe you should come by my bar. Grab a few drinks. That will take your mind off things."
"I'm pregnant, idiot," I say to her.
"Oh yeah," she says. "Well, that sucks. See ya," She waves and runs out the door.
I shake my head. She's unbelievable.