Say Something 【boyxboy】√Completed

Chapter 8

         

In Art, Taylor asks if I'm feeling better but other than that we all work on our projects as usual. After class, Rhiannon comes over as we're all cleaning up and asks the same thing. "I was really worried when I saw you on the floor like that."

I realize I never thanked her yesterday. "Yeah... Thank you for helping me," I say softly.

"It was no problem at all. I'm just glad you're okay and didn't hit your head or something. Be careful, okay?" Her round eyes are filled with concern and I nod. Then she glances at Ross, who's coming over, and goes back to her table to gather her things.

"I'll see you at lunch." Ross nudges me and then heads out.

Eventually, I have to face English class.

I think of skipping, but Mrs. Alberts would only make me participate the next day instead.

We're reading Julius Caesar. I read it my freshman year, when I tried out Honors English. This class seems to be behind the pace of my old school, but this isn't an honors class anyway.

I've read and analyzed this book twice, but I don't know how I can discuss it. It takes all of my courage to enter my classroom.

I quietly head to my seat and hope my teacher won't remember what she said the day before. But of course she will. I avoid eye contact and get out my binder.

The rest of the students fill up the classroom and I pray they can't hear my heart pounding.

We're almost all the way through class, and I think I can get away without saying anything, at least for today.

"Does anyone else want to add to Kellie's thought? This is a class discussion, remember," says Mrs. Alberts, emphasizing that this is a discussion. "Anyone?" She looks at me and I shake my head slightly. "Jude, why don't you tell us what you think? Do you agree with Kellie or think Brutus may have felt differently in this scene?"

I don't think she'll let this go. I stare at the book in my hand for a moment and notice the pounding of my heart. "Uh.... I-I don't know...." I stammer. The guy next to me gives me a weird look. The truth is, I have lots of thoughts I could share, but I just can't. I try to form the words but I'm not sure what else to say.

"You don't know? Do you agree or disagree?" I can tell she's trying to be patient but all eyes are on me and there's a lot of pressure.

I give her a small shrug and she sighs.

The girl in front of me raises her hand.

"I'll call on you in a moment, Holly. Right now I'd like to hear from Jude."

She lowers her hand and turns around to look at me, waiting.

I can't take this. This is a normal situation for most people. This is how a classroom works. So why can't I do it? Why can't I just be normal?

All I want is for Mrs. Alberts to move on. Give up on me! Go to the next thing...

But she continues to wait. It feels like forever but I'm sure it's only been a few seconds.

She's about to say something again when I stand up and hurry into the hall, my classmates watching.

I hear the door open again and she's standing right there when I look over. "What's the matter?" She looks frustrated but concerned at the same time.

I shake my head, trying to calm down. The last thing I need is to pass out again. "I'm sorry," I say, my voice shaking. "I can't..."

"You can't what?"