Say Something 【boyxboy】√Completed

Chapter 17

       

I don't speak to Ross until January 2nd, except for one text I had sent to let him know I was okay and that I was sorry for what happened.

His only reply was that we should talk soon.

So on the 2nd I finally gather the courage to invite him over. We go back to school tomorrow so it's better to see him before then.

Now I'll find out if he ended up going to the party or not, but I'm not sure if I really want to know.

When I open the door, Ross's expression makes me feel bad. He seems... distant.

After closing the door behind me, I can't help but hug him. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry I freak out so easily."

He hugs me back, tightly. It's reassuring. "It's okay, but please don't run away from me. I didn't know what to do."

I nod and start to move away but he holds onto me and looks me in the eyes.

"What happened? Why were you so upset?"

I avoid his gaze and sigh. I can see my breath in the cold air. "It doesn't matter." I pull away and sit down on the stairs.

"Yes it does," he says, joining me.

Looking down towards the street, I know he's not going to let it go.

Ross touches my arm gently. "You can tell me."

I bite my tongue. My heart aches when he does this. "I just don't want you to get hurt," I whisper.

"I'm not going to," he replies.

"It's already happened before. You can't ignore that." I look over at him, watching me with concerned eyes. "I don't want anything to happen to you. I can't lose you."

Smiling softly, Ross shakes his head. "You won't. I promise."

He's too kind for his own good. I want to drag him away from Jacob before he gets too close and protect him. I'm not sure how I could do that, when I can't even protect myself.

I wish Ross would believe me when I say that Jacob's not a good person, but I haven't given him my reasons. Do I tell him now?

I cross my arms and hold myself. It's too hard.

How long can I really put this off?

"Why are you so scared?" asks Ross.

I open my mouth but can't find the words.

I care way too much about Ross. No, not too much... He deserves to be cared about.

But I need him to trust me. I may be a helpless, anxious mess sometimes but I know what I'm talking about when it comes to Jacob.

I hope he didn't go to the party. I don't want him to get hurt again.

I need Ross.

"Jude?" he asks, leaning towards me and placing his hand on my knee.

I turn and kiss him, softly and quickly. My heart is pounding but I can't help it. I'm not really thinking straight.

Ross stares at me. I have no idea what's going through his mind.

I hurry to stand up but he grabs onto my hand and pulls me back down.

"What was that?" he asks.

"I-I don't know," I stammer.

"I didn't know you felt that way." Ross looks honestly confused.

I look away, blushing. "I do."

Ross reaches out to touch my cheek gently, turning my face to look at him. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" I know he thought I was straight but I'm completely serious.

Finally smiling, Ross leans forward to kiss me. This time it's longer, sweeter, but he pulls away too soon. His smile vanishes and he looks frightened by what just happened.

"Wait..." Ross looks off to the side. "Can I just think about this for a minute?"

My heart sinks. Why is he hesitating and making that face? A moment ago he wanted to kiss me. Did he not feel anything?

"Don't look so sad," he says gently, running his fingers through my hair. "It made me happy, but things are just complicated with me right now."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I guess I just didn't expect this to happen." He takes my hand in his but I don't feel very reassured.

Ross gives it a gentle squeeze and then stands. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. Are you okay?"

I nod, but I'm worried that I just made things awkward between us. He wanted to kiss me back, I know it, but something isn't right.

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Author's Note: I hope you liked this short chapter! The next one is actually three times longer. Also, if you don't already follow me I'd appreciate if you would! That way you can get notified when I post a message about one of my stories. Please comment as well, because I love reading your thoughts. They help me improve my work! The next chapter will be posted on Thursday night! - Shiloh