Say Something 【boyxboy】√Completed

Chapter 31

I miss a few days of school because, naturally, I can't function. Every time I think about Ross and Jacob, I start to panic and feel like I can't breathe.

My dad is suspicious because I've been even quieter than I usually am.

"Are you going to school today?" he asks from my doorway.

I shake my head.

He frowns. "Alright, you're going to the doctor. You've been sick so much this year, you really need to get this checked out."

"No," I say, starting to panic. He raises a brow. "I can't."

"Jude, what if something's seriously wrong?"

I guess I've been "sick" often enough to make him worry.

I sigh and curl up in my blankets. "I'm not sick," I mumble.

"What do you mean, you're not sick?"

"I... I just don't want to go."

He sighs.

"I know you're frustrated with me. I'm sorry..." I feel my eyes fill with tears again.

My dad walks over to my bed, frowning in concern. "What happened?"

I shake my head.

"Are you being bullied again?" he asks.

"No...."

"I'll call the school. Or... I'll go in there and make them do something about it."

I wipe my eyes and smile just a little, for the first time in days, because I know he wouldn't put up with any bullying. I could never tell him the truth, though. He would be furious. "Thanks, but I'm fine. I just had a fight with my friends."

He sighs again but seems to relax. "Then either make up with them or find better friends. You can't just hide from it all."

I don't say anything.

"Come on, you'll be fine."

I drag myself out of the bed and take a deep breath. I'm not ready to go back to school at all. Maybe I could skip, but they'd just call my dad about it after they take attendance.

I decide that I need to suppress my thoughts about Ross and Jacob as much as possible if I want to make it through the day. I don't want to see Jacob, and I don't want to talk to Ross yet. I've ignored his texts and calls, although there were only a few. I know it's awful of me, but I can't deal with it.

I want to ask Taylor about it, but at the same time I don't want to know anything else. At least, not yet. I'm still too upset.

Going into school late, I've already missed Art class so I wonder if I should text Ross that I'm back. No, then he'd just ask me if I'm okay again.

I eventually text Gareth, even though I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone. I just ask him if we can eat lunch together and if he can meet me at my locker. I'd rather not walk into the cafeteria alone and have anyone approach me.

Gareth finds me before lunch. "Hey, glad to have you back. Were you sick?"

I shake my head, because I'm tired of lying.

"Did something happen?" he asks, frowning. "You look distracted."

I nod, trying to figure out what I should say, but I give up. I'm not ready to talk about it.

I stick close to Gareth as we go into the cafeteria. If Ross notices me from the other table, he doesn't say anything. Gareth eats and works on homework, and I catch up on mine because I don't have any appetite.

It's not until we've walked out of the cafeteria that Ross finally comes up to me. "Hey, um..." He looks just as lost as me. "Gareth, can I talk to Jude?"

I don't want to talk to him yet. It hurts just to see him, so I look down at the floor. My heart aches so much. I know it wasn't his fault, and I still care about him, but I'm still freaked out.

"Um, sure. See you later, Jude." Gareth leaves us alone, but I wish he hadn't.

I lift my eyes and look at Ross, hoping he gets the hint, and then I quickly walk after Gareth. Gareth looks at me in surprise when I show up next to him again, and he looks back behind us.

"You don't want to talk to him?" he asks, confused.

I bite my lip and walk faster. "I can't," I manage to say.

"What happened?"

I take a deep breath to try and stay calm, but I'm sure he can tell I'm extremely anxious.

Gareth stops me and pulls me to the side. "Did someone hurt you? What happened?" His voice is more serious than ever before.

I look away from him.

"Was it Ross?" he asks. "Or was it Jacob? Did he come after you again?"

My lower lip trembles as I speak. "Both."

Narrowing his eyes, Gareth looks across the hallway. I follow his gaze and see Ross watching us with a concerned expression.

"Do you want me to talk to him for you?" asks Gareth.

I shake my head quickly. "I-It wasn't his fault. I just need space. I-I can't think."

He sighs. "Alright. Let me know what I can do, okay?"

"Thanks." I take a deep breath. Gareth is so kind.

Gareth walks with me to my next class and I relax a little, but I'm still distracted for the rest of the day.

I'll have to see Ross in my last class.

I walk slowly on my way there, not caring if I end up being late. To my surprise, Ross is waiting outside the door.

"After class," I mumble, walking past him and going into the classroom. I hear him sigh as he follows me inside and we take our seats.

We don't talk to each other during class, but afterwards I know I can't avoid it much longer. He's waiting for me to say something, so I have to be strong and face him.

I really don't want to, as we stand in the hallway.

"I know you don't want to talk to me right now," says Ross softly. "I get it."

I can't look him in the eyes. "Sorry." I know he's upset too, but I can't help it. I'm trying so hard not to get worked up.

"I just need to know one thing..."

I glance at him.

Ross pauses for a moment, and then asks, "Is this it for us?"

Lifting my eyes, I frown. He looks so concerned, so hurt. It makes me feel conflicted. I'm upset by this whole situation, and even though it's not his fault, he still did something I can't process. I want to yell at him, but I just can't.

I'm still in shock. It still doesn't make sense. I think back to when I first kissed Ross and my heart aches. Then I remember how Ross had said things were complicated. Complicated... meaning he was seeing Jacob at the time. I suddenly feel sick to my stomach.

"I-I don't know," I stammer, because I honestly don't know what this means for us. When will I get over this awful feeling? Is it even possible?

Ross is quiet for a moment. "Okay. You know I care about you a lot. I really do. But I guess... you need to think about it."

I nod, but I don't want to think about it. I wish I could forget it and we could go back to the way we were before.

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Author's Note : Wow, everyone... we are nearing the end. Only a few more chapters to go! I will be uploading them TWICE a week: Thursday night and Monday night. Yup. I'm excited to wrap things up. Remember, this is only the first draft of the book, so I'd love to have some comments on these last few chapters to see how everything's going. I've actually never finished a book before even though over the years I've started at least... like a hundred. So conclusions are difficult for me and I'd love feedback. Thanks! I can't wait to give you the last few chapters. - Shiloh