Loki Laufeyson x Reader One Shots CLOSED

Who I Am Inside

Who I Am Inside
Request for Subject 87B112
A/N: Co-written by Blossom.
"How about a Loki story about the reader not being used to his 'magical use' and how his anger is taken out."

Loki tried very hard to keep his true form hidden. He hated it, and he assumed everyone around him would hate it too. Only in times of great stress or anger was he unable to control himself, and his skin would turn blue and his eyes red and he would sit by himself until he calmed back down.
You knew who he was; what he was. You told him that you didn't care. He believed you simply because he knew you loved him but he still did everything in his power to keep you from having to endure his true form.
Loki was fine with showing you his other powers, like his sorcery, but he didn't like being reminded of his Jotun heritage. You had seen his Jotun form before, but you hadn't seen the transformation. He was more sensitive about you knowing the process of him "turning into a monster," as he put it, than he was about you seeing him after he'd gone blue. You had always been both curious and scared, but you knew it was a sore subject, so you tried not to mention it, not wanting to hurt his feelings. There were very few things that startled him or caught him off guard, and the words "Jotun" or "Frost Giant" were high on the list.
You had asked Thor once, but he just shook his head with a soft smile.
"Lady (Y/N), you have always been a curious one. I would love to tell you, but it is my brother's business, and not my place. When he is ready, he will tell you."
You had nodded and thanked Thor, but you were still highly curious.

You got off work early one day, able to get home earlier than normal. You heard a frustrated growl and a bang from the bedroom upon entering your apartment, so you made your way cautiously up the stairs.
Upon opening the door, you saw Loki standing in the middle of the room, fists clenched at his sides.
"Loki, honey..." you whispered, cautiously approaching him and placing a hand on his shoulder.
Loki turned sharply and what you saw made your blood run cold. Instead of Loki's beautiful emerald eyes, you were med with blood red rubies. You didn't give up though, knowing that showing fear or turning to run would break his heart.
"Loki, baby, calm down," you said gently. "It'll be okay."
Loki's skin had a hint of blue that was slowly spreading across the arm you were touching. You felt his skin growing colder and colder until holding his arm was like holding ice.
"Loki..." you trailed off, unsure of what to say.
He squeezed his eyes closed, wishing he could just turn back and erase this memory from your mind. He knew you were curious about this side of him, but you hadn't seen him in transition, and he wanted to protect you from that. He didn't always have control in this form, especially when he was angry or stressed, and he was worried that he would scare you away. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, and you could hear the shift in his voice. It was much deeper, more gravelly, and more intimidating.
"I got off work early," you replied gently, careful to keep your voice from shaking. "I called to tell you, but you didn't answer."
He shook his head, a few strands of his slicked back raven hair falling into his eyes. "You shouldn't be here. It's not safe."
"Loki..." You reached up with a hand to touch his face. "I'm always safe with you. I only feel safe with you."
Anger controlled him and he jerked his head away, a low growl emanating from his throat. "Don't touch me."
You jerked back as though you'd been slapped, and given that Loki would never physically hurt you, it was basically the same thing. You stared up at him, mouth agape. His eyes softened when he saw you response, and apologies came flooding out.
"Darling, I'm sorry," he said.
You reached out again, gently placing a hand on his arm. You glanced up at his face to make sure it was okay, and a small nod of his head told you to keep going. You ran your fingers gingerly along the cobalt skin of his forearm. Another growl escaped his throat when you touched the tribal runes that decorated the upper half of his forearm. You jerked your hand back with an apology on your lips, glancing up at his faced to see his brows furrowed in frustration.
"What are you really afraid of?" you asked softly, wanting to understand. You hadn't had enough experience with Jotun Loki to remember that you had to choose your words carefully. Jotun Loki was much less forgiving, and his guard never lowered.
"I'm not afraid, you stupid human," he grumbled. "You're the one who should be afraid. I could crush you like a bug, yet you think you have some kind of power over me. It would do you well to hold your tongue in the presence of a Frost Giant."
You couldn't escape the gasp on your lips or the way your jaw dropped in response. Loki had never spoken to you like that. You were the one mortal that made him think maybe they weren't all that bad. You were the reason he felt bad for trying to enslave the human race. You were the thing keeping him here on Earth instead of returning to Asgard.
Evidently, human Loki's thoughts were different from Jotun Loki's.
He saw the hurt and betrayal in your eyes and his expression softened. His skin began fading to its normal pale hue, and his eyes flashed to emerald green. The runes disappeared from his skin as he stepped forward, reaching to take you in his arms. He was hurt when you pulled away from his tentative embrace.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "You know I didn't mean any of that. My other form... It's unpredictable. I only change in times of great anger or stress, and it never stays very long. I try to avoid changing, only letting my other side out when you're not home. I'm so sorry you had to see that, darling."
You shook your head. "It's okay, it's just... It was a surprise. I wasn't afraid of you, if you're worried about that. Your other form was just so... cold... emotionally cold, like he wouldn't have cared if he had hurt me."
"I would never let that happen," he promised, reaching out to you again. You accepted his advances this time, stepping into his arms and resting your head on his chest. You could feel his warmth and hear his heartbeat, and that made it much better.
"I know," you said with a nod, looking up at him. "I trust you."
He dipped his head and captured your lips. Your eyes fluttered closed as you returned the gesture. He pulled back with a soft smile on his lips, holding you close by your waist. "How about a movie?"
"Sounds great," you replied. He lifted you bridal style and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He lied you on the bed and cuddled beside you, draping a blanket over the both of you before snapping his fingers to turn on the TV. You chose a movie and it came on the screen, and he turned off the lamp before settling in beside you, holding you close for the rest of the day.