Marauders Mistakes (blackinnon)

part two

"Marls, why did Mcgonagall let us off so lightly?" Lily asked as they lay in the dorms, where they had been sent to 'consider their actions.' "And why didn't you want to be in a room with Fabian? I didn't even know you guys were friends?"

"We are not friends, I know that much for sure." Marlene spat at Lily.

"So what the hell is going on?!"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"Me and Fabian have been spending lots of time in detention, you know? And lots of time at quidditch practice and my heads been all over the place. Whatever me and Sirius aren't official anyway, it doesn't even matter."

"What exactly went on?!"

"We had sex a couple of times." She said, finally looking up at Lily.

"A couple?"

"More than a couple.."

"But like you said, you and Sirius aren't official or anything, he doesn't have to know, it's not so bad. Honestly Marls you had me worried then- "

"I'm a month late Lil." Marlene whispered, looking up at Lily,

"But I thought you were on the pill?"

"I was but then I.. I lost the packet.."

"You lost the packet?"

"Yeah.. And Sirius doesn't know what's going on, but he's being off with me and Fabian is being normal with him and I can't stand to be around and watch this play out."

Lily looked up at her friend, watching her as she lay on her bed, suddenly she seemed small and fragile, and slightly paler than usual. Her nails were in tatters and her tights were ripped, her hair was messier than usual and Lily couldn't believe she hadn't noticed before.

"Mcgonagall knows?" Lily asked quietly.

"Yeah, she was screaming at me a couple of days ago like usual, about standards and homework and expectations, all the same as usual. The stuff I can usually handle ya know? But then she started going on about the war and how we all had bigger responsibilities to deal with, and that I need to get my act together and I broke down, right in front of her. Couldn't hold it together any longer."

"You cried in front of Mcgonagall?" Lily asked in disbelief. "You've never even cried in front of me!"

"Yeah.. that's what she was so worried about. For Merlin's sake, I didn't even cry at my Grandmother's funeral last summer, and she was there she knew. Well, she's Mcgonagall she knows everything, and that was the last thing she was expecting, thought she was going to have a heart attack the poor woman." Marlene managed a laugh under her breath. "And she just demanded to know, straight up, she asked what on Earth was going on. First off she thought it was something to do with school work, but she quickly realised I really couldn't give a shit about school at the moment, so she worked down the list, she knew it wasn't my parents, because she'd know, or my brothers-"

"Because she would know" Lily said filling in the blanks.

"And I didn't think she would get it, I really didn't because how the hell would she know about Sirius and I? Hell I don't even know about me and Sirius! But damn that woman is good." Marlene said, impressed. "She sat me down and just said the most comforting thing I could've heard."

"What was that Marls?"

"Have a biscuit Mckinnon."

"She said that to you?"

"Yeah, I ate four biscuits before she said another word, do you know what she said? 'So Marlene, you haven't been eating. Don't argue with me, I know better. You have bags under your eyes, but no ink on your hands, you're shaking still so you're either in shock or denial. Care to tell me, or should I continue to deduce?' I swear to Merlin, I couldn't manage to get a word out of my mouth! So she just carried on, 'I know for a fact you went to see Madam Pomfrey last week about some sickness tablets, and then a couple of days later again about some sleeping pills. Don't look at me like that I wasn't being nosey I watch out for you all you know, Madam Pomfrey was concerned about you! The fact you just burst out crying in my office speaks volumes to be frank, I have never seen or even heard of you cry, and you haven't been near The Great Hall for the past two days. Shall I carry on my dear?' And I just looked at her, then I asked rather stupidly what any of that meant, trying to say it didn't mean anything but she's so bloody clever, I never really appreciated it before. She went, 'The bags under your eyes and sleeping tablets suggest you haven't been sleeping well, perhaps because of an increase of work and you are struggling? No. You don't have ink on your hands, and haven't met any deadlines recently so it's not overworking. You are avoiding food of any kind because you feel sick and your emotions are running wild. We both know what is going on here, and that comes back to the shock and denial. So, I take it you haven't taken one of these?' And she pulled a pregnancy test out of the top drawer and put it on the desk in front of me. I honestly thought I was going to feint."

"She is a brilliant woman, truly brilliant." Lily said shaking her head unable to believe that a teacher had noticed something was going on and she hadn't. "So you took it right?"

Marlene looked at Lily, guilt written all over her face. "No."

"Marlene! You need to, surely Mcgonagall told you to?"

"No actually. She just said, 'I don't know what's going through your head or if I have overstepped my boundaries. But know this Miss Mckinnon, I will not be alerting your parents until you have spoken to me directly, or if Madam Pomfrey sees that you are at risk, and as you recall everything between you and her is strictly confidential unless you are indeed at risk. I am going to pretend that this conversation did not exist regards to alerting anyone else, however I strongly suggest you take the test and see Madam Pomfrey as soon as possible, because I don't know how long you have been hiding this already, but it can not go on much longer. Anytime you need somebody to speak to Marlene, my door is open. Do not forget that. Now, I believe you need some time to yourself? I shall excuse you from the rest of today's lessons but I expect you in class tomorrow, yes?'"

"Bloody hell." Was all Lily could muster before their was a banging on the dorm door.

"Shit, bet you that's Sirius!" And before Lily could even consider what was happening Marlene had jumped off her bed and climbed underneath.

"Marlene you can not hide from this. Get out!" Lily hissed. Sirius continued to bang on the door, more urgent now.

"No, make him go away, do not make me deal with him right now." Marlene pleaded with Lily, desperate for an escape.

"Merlin help me" Lily muttered under her breath before opening the door to Sirius. He was stood with his tie loose around his neck, his hair behind his ear and a stressed look on his face.

"Lily, do not fuck with me right now." Sirius demanded before storming into the dorm and sitting onto the end of Marlene's bed. "Where is she?"

"I can't tell you that Sirius, you know I can't."

"Is she okay? Have I done something?"

Lily paused and looked up at Sirius, then took a deep breath. "Please don't make me lie to you Sirius," she pleaded.

"Lily just tell me, now."

"She isn't really okay, but when is she?"

"Is it me?" Sirius said with his head in his hands. "I'm so bad at this boyfriend thing, I really am trying but I can feel her slipping away Lils, I'm losing her and I can't seem to stop it."

"Sirius, you need to come back later and speak to her, I can't talk on her behalf."

"Im asking you Lily, have I already lost her?"

"I don't know Sirius, please don't put me in between you two."

And with that Lily watched Sirius walk helplessly out of the dorm, closing the door quietly behind him.