The Safety Pin Affair

t h i r t y-n i n e - i'm too tired to fight back

and i promise you
someday we'll tell ourselves
"oh my god, this is p a r a d i s e" . . .

▪️▫️▪️

Everyone knew about the plan for Josh to ask me to Prom. I was the only idiot completely unaware of the situation.

Somehow, my friends had managed to keep their mouths shut. Which truly surprised me because Blair can't keep a secret – she's too excited about everything. Matt is usually quiet anyway, so him not spilling the beans wasn't a shock to me. But for Rick, Michael, Dan, Jaclyn and seemingly everyone else that was in the cafeteria that day, I couldn't believe they pulled it off.

I was right when I said I heard Michael mumble something about "needing to talk to Josh" after our encounter at Blair's surprise party. Beyond my knowledge, he did go and talk to Josh. Actually he did more than just talk – he fixed things.

He told Josh straight up what was wrong, told him that neither him nor I should give up, and that we deserved a second chance. And it worked because if it didn't, Josh wouldn't have agreed to Michael's idea of asking me to Prom. He's too shy for that kind of thing.

Michael came up with the plan quickly, so him and the rest of his squad got Josh and gave him a major, uplifting pep talk. Sure, the "promposal" wasn't over-the-top or romantic. It certainly wouldn't go down in our school's history books. But it was perfect for us.

With only a week to get our shit together, I didn't expect an elaborate, perfectly thought out proposal; I just wanted a freaking date. And that's exactly what I got, with the only guy I really wanted to go with. In my basic black dress I had ordered online, and Josh in a tuxedo he already owned, and I thought we looked pretty damn good for it all being so last minute.

It's safe to say I owe Michael my life. He's done more for me in my years of knowing him than anyone, maybe besides Blair. Regardless, I love that kid a lot.

I woke up the morning after Prom at ease. I felt weightless – like nothing could bring me down.

I just felt like I could think "everything is okay now" and believe it. It's been awhile since that happened and it's great to be able to do that.

Once I opened my eyes, it took me a minute to realize that I was locked in Josh's arms as he slept peacefully behind me. His front up against my back in perfect cuddling form. A small smile spread across my face and I shut my eyes, enjoying the moment.

It was all really last minute – as the entire Prom escapade was – but my friends and I decided to crash at Josh's cabin for the weekend. So once Prom ended, we got our bags and all headed up. All of us being Josh and his posse, Blair, Matt and I, and even Jaclyn came with her date whose name I still don't know. He's from a different school so I've never met him before.

From what I do know, I think Blair, Matt, Jaclyn and her date are all crammed in the second bedroom with the two twin beds, and Michael, Rick and Dan are downstairs on the sofa that's a pull-out bed. Josh and I got the master bedroom, thankfully.

We were up pretty late drinking last night, so I have no idea what time it is. The sun shining through the windows is my only clue telling me it's mid-morning. It doesn't matter though, it's not like I intend on moving.

With Josh's arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace, it made it hard to want to leave. It was a kind of hold that seemed needy. Almost like if he loosened his grip on me just a little, I'd disappear.