Change in Life

Chapter 18. Astrid

Of all the things that had sadistically beat him down, all the times he had felt like the world was relentlessly crushing him, all the moments when he had been inadequate to help, for those next few nights there was nothing more jarring and agonizing than watching Jade's constant futile gaze of a perturbed frown... and being the cause of it. The smile wasn't their, only darkened clouded blurs of her tender face. The joy reverberated from his own wasn't there, only a timid self-resentment from those once gorgeous hazel eyes.

During that horrid time of helplessness, a sickness had taken advantage of his abused body and gripped him maliciously. What strength that had been given back through Jade's efforts had been taken away just as brutally. Jade had given him his share of the skinny weasel once he had come to, even going as far as to bite off small pieces so he could eat without having to chew, but Blake didn't have the strength to take anything down until the following night. Yet even then it had taken him all day just to get a mouthful down, but only a spectacular second to bring it back up. All talking was forced and painful like his throat had closed around razor-blades. Any movement was impossible as all the muscles in his body screamed in cramping spasms. And any attempt to bring his head off the leaf-litter floor saw it crashing down unceremoniously at the engulfing migraine.

All of Jade's short time out of the den was purely to get some food and a drink and then head directly back home to care for Blake. Jade tended to his wounded forehead - which of all the things, this was the least of his worries as the initial blood splatter had made it look much worse than what it actually was - and other needs as ruthlessly as a mother would. With much care the cut had been thoroughly cleaned and had got to the point were the parted skin would stay closed. She laboriously tried to keep his stomach as full as she could, tried to keep him warm by her own fur, even digging up some grasses smothered by the cold snow for him to eat, believing it would help the passing of this illness. 

Yet most of her time was spent lying on her belly in her den, watching over her wishful mate, feeling utterly helpless.

Blake's misery only worsened at this. He could barely open his eyes most nights against the spinning in his head, yet each night the face he saw was the same. Only concern for him was felt from her uneasy confused face. She refused to leave him. She felt she was responsible for him. He hated it. Being so dependent like this made him fell like an excessive burden. All her time was spent with him. Every moment of every hour...  every second... with him.

However, of all the companionship he could have wish for while trudging through that tough part of his life, he couldn't have asked for better. The long dark winter nights shone within a brightness from her aura. The warm glow from her compassion abated away most, if not all, winter scourges. He would have told her how he felt, if not for the bile that accompanied the opening of his mouth each time. The soft yet firm pounding in his chest, seemingly weak, hurt his sick body and forced an unwanted tremble, causing more discomfort. For him it was unmistakable. It was a joyous feeling both him and his human trait reveled in. If his heart continued to beat like this he knew he would pass out for the umpteenth time. From this feeling though he was glad to do so, over and over. She cared about him.

She truly cared about him.

With each passing night and only morsels of food being kept down, Jade had to watch in dreaded anguish at his failing body. It had already been three nights since he last ate his last scrap of food before the falling branch took his motion. That number had stretched out to four, and his body had showed signs of withering away. His skin had clung to his ribs and every breath was met with a struggled wheeze. A tear had dripped from Jade's eyes as she began to think of the worse. She was going to lose him if he didn't start fighting. He had to stay strong. He couldn't die like this.