Change in Life

Epilogue

It hurt.

And it would always hurt. Nobody can truly move on without a scar from the rubble of grief. Nonetheless, there is a bravery in moving forward with that notion. Life is hard, and sorrow is a great part of it. Yet Jade felt herself looking back on her life with him, and instead of doing nothing but writhing in agony under the weight of his death, she began to start anew, building her pillars of life back up with the memories of him as her constant.

A week had passed and Jade was beginning to cope all right with her mate's departure, the excruciating tear he left in her heart acting more of a drive now than cause for despair. The times she stumbled from loneliness dwindled from the night Blake had given everything left of his being for her and their young still growing inside her to haunting shivers lingering on the late winter winds. While she would have liked many times to spend most of the night weeping his loss, she knew that was not what he wanted of her. So whatever opportunity presented itself to bring her down, she furrowed her brows to it and turned it on its head, making it the shield that defended her, rather than the sword that would cut her down.

Being exposed in the emptiness of the large chamber of her den was one factor she quickly had to grasp with. The space was far too open to rest in comfortably and not mourn. To feel his devotion for her once again, she moved her nestled resting place made in dried leaves to that of the small maternity chamber of her den. It did little to brush over the fact the den was still as empty as it was going to get, yet at least it felt like having Blake with her as she slept. The grooves from Blake's claws left in the walls and roof while he carved it out created warmer and more comfortable vibes than when she was sleeping alone in the main chamber. Although it was hard to get to sleep on some nights passed, the vixen just closed her eyes and imagined that the leaves she pushed up against the wall was Blake beside her. At times she could almost hear his heart beating and feel his breathing body against hers.

She opened her eyes to a slit and observed his claw marks in the walls. With a longing mournful smile, she reached out her paw whilst lying down and dragged her own along each groove, tracing his tireless efforts to make her happy. She did this for a while when her dreams were difficult, especially on this night. Soon though her womb bulged and her stomach threatened a prenatal vomit. Once the swirling paranoia vanished, she carefully rolled to her paws and headed out of the den to a soft patch of dirt in the bank. The rabbits she had caught when she returned from saying goodbye to him were lasting a good time as her desire to eat was still faded. She pulled out the last morsel after she dug and ate eagerly. She would have to hunt again, but as time closed over wounds, so it did increase her instinct to chase prey. And when the food ran out, she could choose the easy food alternative and go fishing. She wasn't required to run or be too quick. All she had to do was pick the right time to strike.

Her future began unfolding before her and plans were thought out. So that she wouldn't have to go back and forth every night to get food from the river, she could make this new food stash near her den her permanent one, adding to the dozens Blake had made all around the woods. Her hopeful but deluded thoughts of being self-reliant once more coaxed some bazaar ideas though. The major being making a stash in her den. At the side of the big chamber, the idea flourished of a reasonable hole stuffed with fish as well as meat - and the thought of having one filled solely with deer liver made her drool over her rabbit haunch. The good point in burying her catches in her home was obvious: no creature could smell the menagerie of delectable, slightly decayed, foodstuffs out and raid what she and her mate had worked hard for, and she could stay safe while rising the young ones for a time, allowing them to be nurtured to an age where she could leave them to hunt for a while. The only bad point was that the odor of the assorted meats would quickly fill the den, something that would turn even her strong stomach and attract even more unwanted attention.