Change in Life

Chapter 40. Fidelity

The twin pillars of life; both of which all living souls stand beneath whether they like it or not: elation and despair, virtue and vice, light and dark. Both equal in vitality and poise, yet foils of each scale. Each one made of our spirits hard work and they hold above us who we are for the rest of the world to see for our efforts. We preoccupy ourselves with the natural urge to find balance towards that single pillar of light that we may avoid the travesty of what would be if a sturdy footing was found on both. Try as we might, life cannot go onward if that slightly foreboding pillar is not alsoused. Compassion, tolerance and empathy, we surround that one happy structure of polished stone with it, giving it all our needed attention by carving memories and making personal sentiments that turn it into our own completely unique selves from anything else in existence, shaping who we become.

And slowly, from those years of devotion to making ourselves the epitome of life that stands highly on that balanced platform through that nice footing, we unintentionally succumb to being dependent on it. Yet as we continue showering it with praise and chipping away of that pillar delicate images of better things, making it ever more beautiful to radiate in the eyes of our peers, the crudely shady pillar holding half of what light had made stands lonely but strong as good begins to wear from time. Eventually, something comes along that tests our resolve: a separation, a fight, a loss. When that moment arrives and our foundations quake, all the love and pleasure given to the eventually weakened pillar of life ever adored, crumbles, and to some extent, too far. And who we are, what we have made of ourselves standing ever bold high above us, comes crashing down.

It's then, looking up out of the ruins of who we were, that we see the single pillar of loath and despair standing ever stronger with no burden, and a shaky sliver of ourselves struggling to hold on to what ever praise given to that lonely dark stone column. In the ruins of hope, devotion and lust, one looks only to the shadow of ourselves with all the wreckage of life's bliss holding us down. And for the world, only a myth of hope remains while we hold dearly the shattered pieces of a life so gratefully lived, even though their only purpose now is to cut with every furtive thought and hold our spirits down with unfathomable weight.

The vixen looked within herself that she might start building back up that pillar to regain what joy she had. But now, for the world, only the worn stones of grief remained. Her foundations had fallen before, yet with so little love dedicated to it from her parents influence at a young age and equal torment to the dark from the uncertain world around her, it was possible to build a new life from ruin. Her footing was sound, built on desolation and a focused mind that things would get better.

Then she met Blake, and life suddenly became extraordinary.

A life of seemingly repetitious behavior, ignoring the thrill of making herself a model for the world, changed, and her sights found themselves on the pillar of life. Him stumbling to her side in horror as a man while she faded from a bullet to her chest was the first picture etched in roughly but deep, one she never intended to add to. It was merely a reminder that there was a purpose to life that she had succeeded in accomplishing. Then another picture joined in beside it of him grovelling at her paws as a lost and confused creature new to the wild. This picture was carefully made and was adorned in simple color to remind her that he was a pathetic male wanting to be closer to her for a time. She had looked back frequently on this, as it became the one thing that defined who he was to her. Not long after, many more precious things were added to life's pillar of good. Many were given with sweet tidings to laughter and pleasure, whilst some of hate and fear found themselves on the darker side, but nonetheless looked on with pained trepidation that those moments still made up who she was. Yet mainly it was happiness that filled her visions and decorated her mind with stunning frames and colorful stills with each one reminding her of what her life was made up of. All with him.