Stuck In The Middle (on hold)

Moth to Flames

"We're here," Will says opening the door taking me to the sofa, "sit and I will go and get some clothes from your apartment." He tells me and heads backout the door leaving me on the sofa to think in my drunken state. Which is probably not the best thing.

Will is so kind for letting me stay with him and taking care of me whilst I decided to be wreckless. But I need to sort out more important things. Maybe I should talk to Eric to see if he could maybe persuade Max to push if forward so we can leave in a couple days. God I hate that Max! He is always making me do extra work and Sometimes even Uriah's too. I should go tell him how I feel. Yeah and get yourself fired! True. I really should just sleep this off and prepare for a hangover. I stagger around in an attempt to get to the others bedroom in Will's apartment however I think I'm failing at it. My legs are the consistency of any substance relating to jelly.

In the end I slump again the wall and sigh damn my stupidness. Damn Tobias and his ways and his eyes that always keep me drawn to him. I hate him, I hate everything about him. I scream at myself in the void of my mind. Surprisingly enough it is not difficult to forgive him everything he does something to hurt me.

[Flashback]

"Toby, why did you do that!" I yell pounding on his chest. I glance at the bathroom to find it totally destroyedby the man beside me. His hair wild and his eyes sharper than a knife. God I love this man. I sigh and stop hitting him.
"I-I'm sorry. I was angry that you missed our date because Eric held you behind. I swear I was only angry at Eric because I hate him being near you." He mutters and a crooked smile forms on his handsome face. I end up smiling too and wrap my arms around his chest.
"I know, I love you Toby. And I also don't find it comfortable that I have to work with him but I wanted this job." I whisper and we stay like this for hours thinking about nothing but how much I love him and how much he means to me. "Don't you forget that I love you to the moon and back." I murmur into his neck.

"And I love you too," his words soft and light, "don't you forget that." He whispers in reply, tightening his hold on me. I would be lost without him sometimes.

[End]

Now after everything that has happened I am not sure if I love him that much and if he means that much to me anymore. Also to be quite honest I think I might be able to live without his love.
I fear him now, I might even fear him forever. I hear the sound of keys in a lock and to door opens revealing my Will with two bags and Eric with another four and my bag full of assignment resources. Thank God he got it because I wouldn't want to have to go back for it. "Tris, why did you move off the sofa?" Will asks and I frown at him. God he sounds funny.
"Where is the other bedroom?" I ask simpily but it comes out slurred and he laughs anyway obviously amused by my current state.
They both come in and place the bags by the door. Then both of them crouch down in front of me sharing a concerned gaze. I don't know why but everything they are doing or have been doing makes me want to laugh. I giggle as they exchange a confused look replacing the concerned feeling. Why did I decide to drown my sorrows in alcohol? It was by far the most stupid idea I ever had.
"You know I am her boss and not her babysitter?" He questions Will. Again I laugh and pout at them as they go into a convo. All I am thinking is the two Ex Erudites are bonding!
"She was going to ask if you can move the departure date forward." Will replies to something that Eric said and walks away to his room. I glance at Eric and smile. His eyes more of a light metal blue. I pout again and continue to stare at him.
"You have really nice eyes." I say honestly and hold out my hands like a child. I yawn my eyes closing sleepily. "Can you carry..." I am cut of by a yawn as I start to drift off feel arms carrying me.

I wake up back in Tobias' apartment with who I think is him. It is still dark from early morning. His arms wrapped around me in his sleep. Trapping me so I will not be able to get free without waking him. This is different...? He never held me like this before. He mumbles and mutters in his sleep. " I'm sorry." Maybe everything over the past days was a dream and me and Toby are fine. I smile at the thought and bury myself into him. Loving his warmth, his touch, his looks and his presents that drives me over the edge. His hold on me becomes tighter as he wakes. Watching him I see his eyes had been morphed into a cold sinister blue from his normal ocean ones. His face glitters a little, one side of his mouth, his nose, his eyebrow, his ears. Damn this lack of light. His hair was not his too but a rich coal black. This is not Tobias. "Um- morning T-Tris." He says and I can tell by his voice it's Eric. Shit! Why is he here? My eyes become wide as panic sets in I sit up confused most of all. "Woah! Calm down, you where throwing up and Will was dead asleep so I had to help you to get to bed," he tells me and sits up his arms leaving me as he continued, "then you had a nightmare and I sat with you as you slept and probably fell asleep too."
I nod slowly thinking through a throbbing headache. So I was at Will's place when I drifted, however, that does not explain why Eric said sorry and he said my name in his sleep. I look back into his eyes before saying, "but why did you say my name and apologise in your sleep."

"You wouldn't want to and don't need to know why." He snaps causing me to cower away. "Sorry."

I decide to ignore him and get out of the bed to find I am still in my dress. Taking some clothes out of my bags I go to the bathroom and change into my jeans and a big knitted jumper. Tobias' jumper. I hold it to me and inhale the smell of mint and soap. I love him dearly sometimes but he is so difficult and dangerous to be around. I'm like a moth to a flame.