Hockey Players. {Jaden Henline}

New Guy

The day's soon grew into weeks, which then grew into months without Sammy. Life had returned back to normal as I was beginning my baseball season. She was beginning her softball season. And we began to talk less and less. And I began to feel like I was losing her. When she's at practice, I'm not. And when I'm at practice she's not. We always seem to miss each other. It was killing me. But I had a solution. I would always text her during school. I didn't pay much attention in class, and my grades and began to drop severely. I could only manage to pass math at this point. I began to lose sleep as well. I would stay up forever just to talk to her. My life was getting crazier each second and I thought, maybe I was doing too much. Putting too much effort in. Sacrificing too much. So tonight's the night. I have to do it. I have to dump Sammy. I felt sick to my stomach about doing it, but I had to. I have to put myself first. And right now I'm a giant mess. And maybe when I figure things out, we can go back to the way it was before. I thought about this as I packed up my bag. I said goodbye to my teammates. Practice was rough. I couldn't focus on anything. It was terrible, I was off my game. As I made it to my moms car, I sighed pulling my phone out of the pocket of my bag. I texted her to see if she could talk for a bit, because I couldn't do this over text. She didn't respond. I assumed she was at practice. When we pulled into my driveway she texted back saying sure and that she wanted to talk to me as well. I put my bag away and went up to my room. My finger hovered over her contact as I questioned whether or not I really wanted to do this. She picked up two rings later.

"Hey," I breathe out

"Hi," she responded "do you want to talk first or me?"

"I want to go first, if that's okay,"

"Yeah. Go ahead." She said

"Sammy I really really love you a lot. But everything right now has gotten hectic. My grades are dropping, I'm losing sleep and energy. I feel super stressed. I'm doing this in hopes that both of us will just feel better. It's hard to date someone who's so far... With that being said I think we should break up."

The line was silent for a few seconds before she finally responded. I waited to hear her sobbing voice, but it came out as smooth and calm.

"I feel the same J. I just didn't want to lose you. Because you still mean a whole lot to me. And maybe someday down the road we can reconnect when we learn to handle everything?"

"That's what I was thinking. I'm glad you feel the same, because I don't want to lose you either. So what, we go back to being just friends?"

"Yeah I think that's easier for both of us." She said

"I'm glad this went well. I should probably head off to bed, and so should you. Goodnight Sam. I love you,"

"Love you too." She said before hanging up

I don't know something about me said this wasn't right. That this won't work and I'm going to lose her. For now, I was too tired to even process so I decided to sleep on it.

~

Weeks had gone past once again. Sammy and I still talked occasionally but not much. I still loved her. And my life began to calm down a little bit. And I think I'm ready to get back into our relationship. I quickly scrolled through my feed before going to call her. I stopped before closing out because something caught my eye. Sammy had posted a picture on Instagram. She was with some guy. He was looking at her while she was laughing. He looked at her the way I did. It was a candid photo, not posed. I examined the guy. He had the bluest eyes I have ever seen and somewhat long blonde hair. He wore a navy blue hat and a red t shirt. Her caption read "good night, great guy 😜💙". She tagged him and I clicked his name. His name was Jake, and he played hockey for the same organization that she did. Scrolling through his pictures I saw that they had known each other for a long time. He posted a recent one too. They posed in this one though. She had her arms around his waist and her head in his chest. He had his arm around her. His caption read "#16 on the ice, #1 in my ❤️". At this point I was downright pissed. I couldn't handle it. I dialed her number.

"Hello?" A guy's voice came through

"Yeah hi Sam?"

"No it's Jake." He said

"Why the hell do you have her phone?" I asked gritting my teeth

"Chill man. She's at practice and asked me to hold it for her."

"Why are you even with her?" I asked

"Dude who even are you her boyfriend or something?" He asked

"Yeah I am." I said

"Well that's news to me," he laughed

"What's so funny?" I spat

"It's funny because I'm actually her boyfriend." He laughed again 

"No-"

"Listen Jaden. You broke up with her. I was there for her and I always have been. She asked me out. I'm with her now. I knew about you two, and she said now you were just friends again. Stop saying she's yours when she's actually not. I'll tell her you called when she's finished with practice. Later."

Then the call ended.

I couldn't believe this. We had broken up only a few weeks ago. She told me she still loved me. And she didn't want to lose me. She lied to me.

~

I checked my phone every second possible to see if she would call me back. Two hours had gone past and nothing. Soon enough it did ring. I answered but said nothing.

"Hey Jake said you called?" She said

I said nothing.

"What do you need?" She asked

Still nothing.

"Jaden are you there?" She asked

I tried to string some words together but I couldn't.

"Yeah." I barely got out

"What's up? He said you called?"

"I did."

"Okay and...?"

"I wanted to see if you wanted to get back together."

Now it was her turn to be silent.

"How could you? You said you loved me. You said we could try again later. You said you didn't want to lose me."

"Jaden I-"

"You lied to me."

"What? I lied to you? Are you kidding me?"

"Yeah you-"

"What exactly did I lie about Jaden please tell me?! Was it the I love you I said before you broke up with me, Jaden?! Was it the I don't want to lose you, when you dumped me?! Because from what I see Jaden I'm putting in a hell of an effort to keep you in my life! You dumped me and I was crushed Jaden."

"You said you felt the same!" I yelled back

"Yeah because Jaden I wanted you to be happy! I wanted the best for you! And when I barely heard from you I decided to stop being sad and I went to Jake! He was there for me! I hate crying and you damn well know that! So I said I felt the same about the break up for you."

It was silent for awhile. I didn't hear anything from her side. Not even a single sob. I didn't know what this meant.

"She's going to go, but really Jaden thanks for all your help." Jake said before hanging up on me.

I am the biggest idiot in the world.