Kick, Punch, Dance?

Chapter 22-I Blame You

~Tess~

It had been three weeks since I woke up from my "medically induced coma". Dr. Masters said that I've had a unbelievable recovery. My ribs felt good as new, I'd been walking around since after five days of waking up and jogging after eleven. 

However, I was still in the hospital undergoing evaluation, and further testing. The doctor said I could probably start dancing again in a couple of weeks. Starting out slow of course, but dancing non the less. 

But that's not why I'm frustrated to all ends. 

No the reason I am to the point of pulling my hair out is because Declan hasn't so much has touched me since the first night I woke-up. Sure he's been here everyday and almost every night since then, he's been ever so helpful- going to my house and getting clothes and other essentials for me, encouraging me to be strong in the physical therapy. 

But he hasn't kissed me. He won't even sit on the bed with me. 

When we're alone in my room together he sits on the little couch and reads his books or he plays cards, and sometimes we talk. I mean he told me what happened with Carter and the rest of them. 

After Tatum pulled me up from the floor Declan an Carter basically had a fight the equivalent to world war III, though Tatum swears it's was only a four minute fight before Declan bashed Carter over the head with a lose piece of brick. 

But back to the present, Declan hasn't so much as looked at me, and I'm starting to worry.

Maybe after he saw what happened to me, after he saw how messed-up I looked, he doesn't want me anymore. Like he can't look at me, or he'll see what I looked like-broken, bloody and weak- and he doesn't want the reminder of what I went though. 

So after three weeks of basically no contact, I snapped. 

"Ugh! What is it?" I asked throwing my book to the end of the bed and sitting up so I could look at him. He was sitting on the little couch, reading a car magazine. 

"Tess?" asked, putting the papers aside. 

"Why?" I asked knowing he wasn't going to understand, but I needed to get it out.

"Why what-" 

"Why, won't you touch me? Why won't you look at me. It's like you;re disgusted by me. It's been three weeks and them most you've touched me was when you helped me walk down the hall way after waking up! You haven't even kissed me since I woke up. So....So why? Why don't you love me anymore?!" I screamed. I'll admit it started out as just a ranting tone, but then I started screaming at him, extremely upset. 

"Is that what you think?" He asked standing up. "You think that I don't love you anymore?"

"Well it's sort of obvious. Or at least for me it is. You won't touch me, kiss me, or even look at me.  You've only said I love once, since I woke up. My only conclusion was that you didn't want to look at me because you'll see the week and bloody girl on the floor who wasn't strong enough to fight." 

Well, shit. Now I was crying. 

"Tess. I love you more than life it's self. I love you more than the air I breathe. more than the song the blue birds sing, and more than you will ever know." He said coming to stand before me on the bed. I was sitting on my knees, my head down looking at my hands in my lap.

"Then why?" I whispered trying to hold on to my sanity and my dignity. 

"I didn't think you'd want me too. You went through hell...and it was my fault." was his reply.

I looked up to see a boy. Not the man I knew, but a broken and beaten boy. His head was down, his hands were limp and his eyes were closed. 

I leaned up so I was now eye level. I grabbed his face a pulled it up to meet my gaze but he wouldn't open his eyes. He squeezed them tighter. 

"How is any of this your fault?"  I asked softly but with passion in my voice. Beneath my hands, Declan was shaking. 

"Because, if it wasn't for me, Carter would have never taken you. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be sitting here right now, mending broken bones. If...if...If I hadn't fallen in love with you, you would still be dancing right now." He whispered. 

Two tears slid down his cheeks, and I slowly swiped them away. 

"What happened is not your fault. Carter was a sick twisted bastard who I happened to cross paths with." I said. "But that's why you haven't touched me. You think I blame you for what happened?" 

At my words he opened his eyes and I witnessed the most beautiful green eyes on the planet. 

"You don't?" he asked confused. 

"No. Not in million years would I ever blame you for this. You saved my life, Declan. And you didn't just save me from Carter. You saved me from myself. How could ever blame some one who is my guardian angle?" 

He didn't respond. He just tugged me into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. I didn't hesitate in wrapping my arms around his neck. But I did't pull back my head, making him look at me. He gave me a questioning look, but I smirked. 

Then I kissed him.