Find Your Way

Chapter Nineteen

Althea's POV

"Is it true that you're a lesbian?"

"As long as it's pure business, Ms. Guevarra, I think I can handle that."

Mrs. Tanchingco's tirades have been playing on my mind like a broken CD. I can't believe that beast is the mother of the love of my life. I'm all aware that she disapproves this kind of relationship I am with Jade, which I totally respected. I just didn't expect her to be this worst!

After our heated conversation a while ago, I immediately went out here at the rooftop of this condo building to vent out my anger. Kung nagstay pa ko dun, baka kung ano na ang nagawa ko.

Noong una pa lang na marinig ko kung paano niya ipagtulakan sa ibang tao ang taong mahal ko, hindi ko na naiwasang makaramdam ng inis. I heard everything they talked about at narinig ko din kung paano ako dineny ni Jade.

But I wasn't mad about that. Naiintindihan ko kung bakit niya ginawa yun at alam ko din naman na masakit sa loob niya ang i-deny ako. Naiinis lang ako kung paano siya tratuhin ng nanay niya na para bang ibinibenta siya nito sa ibang tao. And I just hate myself even more because I can't do anything about it.

Fuck them homophobic people.

I don't care kung laiitin niya ang buong pagkatao ko pero ang hindi ko matanggap ay kung ako nga na hindi niya anak ay grabe na niya pandirihan, what more kay Jade? I won't take to see her being condemn by her own mother. She doesn't deserve to be treated like dirt at parang isang napakamakasalanang tao. All she did was to fall in love with the wrong person - and that's me.

Yes, it pains me to admit that I'm her biggest mistake. Nang dahil sa akin, baka masira ko pa ang pamilya nila. Sino lang ba ko compared sa pamilya niya? They've been there for her - her whole life!

And me? I've been here for her for a month. Ano namang laban ko dun, di ba?

I'm starting to feel sorry for myself especially for us. I don't want to cry about this because I know Jade wouldn't want me to feel this way either.

But I am now.

Halo-halo na yung nararamdaman ko. Yung galit sa mga unfair na tao na hindi kami matanggap. Yung takot na akala ko matagal ko ng nakalimutan dahil sa pagmamahal sakin ni Jade. Yung pagkaawa ko sa sarili ko kasi umaasa ako. Umaasa ako na isang araw, gigising kami ni Jade na hindi kailangan humarap sa ganitong problema.

But life isn't a grant wishing factory and I'm so stupid to believe that there can be 'us'. Sabi nga nila, ang isang bagay na mali sa umpisa pa lang, ay hindi magtatagal.

I was too blind to see the reality. I'm starting to live my dream I have with Jade and I forgot that we're not in a fairy tail with a happy ending. That the princess and a princess story is not possible in real life. This is the real world we are living. Sekswalidad na nga lang namin, kailangan pang pagtrabahuhan.

But I don't want to give up. I'm not going to give her up without at least putting up a damn fight. I know Jade loves me enough to continue holding onto our promises. I don't want her to feel that it is easy for me to let go. Besides, we're partners in this relationship. Hindi lang ako ang lalaban dito, kung hindi kaming dalawa.

I was brought out from my reverie when I heard my phone rang. I fished it out of my back pocket and saw it's Jade who's calling me. I was hesitant to answer it at first but it's better to talk things out right now.