Wings

So Bittersweet

Normani could see the twinkle in Lauren's eyes die out as she watched her process what she'd just told her.

"You're leaving me?" She whispered sadly and Normani swore she could feel her heart breaking. She wanted to take Lauren into her arms right in that moment, to reassure her that she'd never leave her, to kiss her until the glimmer she adored so much returned to her eyes but she knew she couldn't.

She couldn't because she was most likely leaving Lauren and SFSU and all the love in the world wasn't going to change that. It was obvious to Normani then though that Lauren most definitely felt something for her and it wasn't platonic. She'd been watching her through the mirror as she danced and the way Lauren looked at her was a dead giveaway, no one had ever looked at Normani that way before.

It was thrilling and she'd been so excited not only over the fact that Lauren seemed to be enjoying her dancing but that she seemed to be enjoying her in general. That was until the music stopped and she'd remembered the reason she was showing Lauren her routine in the first place. Seeing how impressed and proud and captivated Lauren was suddenly felt like a blow to Normani's chest.

The moment she realized that Lauren felt for her the way she felt for Lauren was over just as quickly as it'd arrived and the pain of the entire situation pulsated throughout her body.

She took Lauren's hand into her own "No, I'm not leaving you." She reassured her "Not yet, anyways. And even if things do work out I'm always going to be here for you."

Lauren shook her head quickly "Things are most definitely going to work out. You are fantastic." She said boldly and it should've made Normani happy to hear how much faith Lauren had in her but the hurt in her voice was so evident that she just let her head hang "They would be insane not to accept you, I mean that." Normani didn't respond, just stared down at their feet while clutching Lauren's hand way harder than she probably needed to.

She felt Lauren's free hand reach underneath her chin and pull her face up so that they were looking at one another again. The twinkle was still absent but her eyes still had the same effect on her, she allowed herself to get to lost in them as she listened to Lauren speak "Mani, I mean it. You are so amazing. This is your calling, you belong at Julliard and you're going."

Normani nodded slowly "I know."

Lauren smiled "I'm so happy for you." She said as she pulled her in for a hug. Normani let go of her hand and wrapped her arms around Lauren's neck. She felt every ounce of anxiety she'd been having melt away as Lauren rubbed her back gently.

They stood there hugging for what felt like a lifetime but when Lauren pulled away she was already craving more.

She smiled at Normani again "I'm so proud of you." She said sweetly and Normani nodded again.

They got all of their things, returned the key to the front desk, and headed back to the dorm. As they walked Lauren talked about how awesome this opportunity was for Normani and how they were going to manage just fine with her gone and how they needed to fill Dinah in as soon as possible but most of the things she'd been saying just sounded like white noise.

It was sad that Lauren was more enthusiastic about everything than she was. When Normani made the decision to show Lauren her routine she had been half hoping that she would've told her she wasn't good enough to get in and then after she'd seen how Lauren had reacted to her leaving she was hoping that she'd beg her not to leave. Normani would've pushed her Julliard dreams to the side if only Lauren had asked her to, that was the kind of sacrifice she was willing to make for her. Of course Lauren's sacrifice was to let Normani go and follow her dreams though it was obvious that she didn't want her to. It was also obvious that this was a game neither one of them were going to win.