Nightmare {h.s | au}

1.33

                  

There was something awfully final about declaring someplace home. It was settling on a feeling that this place could possibly satisfy you and your heart. The awful part was that I wasn't declaring a place as a home. My home broke my demons residing inside me and smiled with dimples and glittering green eyes. Home made sure that my cup was always full of hot cider and that the movies weren't too scary. Home was warm and held me. Harry had become my version of home.

It was awfully final.

And worrying.

"You're doing that thing again," he mumbled.

I looked up at him to see his eyes still trained on the television. His fingers lightly traced infinite patterns across the bare skin of my lower back where my shirt had ridden up. My legs tangled around his so that he could keep my toes warm.

"What thing?"

"The thing you promised you wouldn't do."

I smiled slightly, looking over his face. He told me that I wasn't allowed to think, to overanalyze anything. Here I was, overanalyzing a feeling that he was giving me. I needed to though because it was too much and too soon. We've been together for a little less than a month and I was feeling exuberantly comfortable around him.

"You're making that difficult," I grumbled, turning my head back towards the TV.

His fingers stopped tracing along one of the many patterns he had insisted upon numbing my skin with. He pressed his palm flat against my lower back, making me look up at him again. His green eyes were trained on me, his mouth was drawn into a flat line, and his eyebrows were drawn in.

"What about me is making it so difficult?"

"You'll never know," I replied quieter than he had with a small smirk.

Harry reach down and gripped my hips to pull me up and sit me on his stomach. He had that look that practically begged me to challenge him; I couldn't just decline a dare like this. This was my element.

Pressing my hands flat to his chest, I could feel his heart begin to race as I leaned down toward his face. The challenging look was replaced by one of complete wonder. He was at a loss as to what could happen from here and that excited me. The excitement wouldn't be short lived. Harry enjoyed this sort of behavior even if he hadn't been around it for a year.

I watched his eyes disappear seconds before I closed mine and brought my lips around his bottom one. His reaction was immediate: hands gripping my hips, a soft groan as I bit his bottom lip and pulled, and him sitting up. My legs stayed on either side of his hips as his lips brushed and pressed and pulled mine. I left a hand over his pounding heart as my other one slid up to the curls playing at the back of his neck.

He slid a hand down my thigh before molding his lips against mine. Closed mouth kisses ensued before I dragged my tongue lightly against his bottom lip. My body lit up as he twisted the reigns to take control of the kiss. His fingers dug into my hip and thigh, pulling me closer and making it impossible to keep my hand against his chest.

We were fighting for something. I didn't know what, and I didn't care what it was either. There was something about this that was better than anything I had ever experienced.

His lips left mine to kiss from my lips to my ear where I felt his teeth tentatively pull on to lobe. I pulled his hair at that action, spurring his on and moving down my neck. A small moan provoked open-mouthed kisses and him to pull me closer.

"Shit...Eden," he murmured between kisses as I pulled at his hair. His open-mouthed pecks had turned into light nips.

I slid my hands down to cup his face, pulling it away from my skin. His lips were something torturous and I needed them against mine again. And I did. Over. And over. And over.

It was so hard to breathe. All I wanted to do was continue to kiss him, but I had to pull back. In fact, I pulled myself right off of his lap.

Looking down at him, he looked lost until he looked up at me. The lost look turned into the confused child that didn't get his way. His hands were in his lap as he internally battled. Slowly, he raised them to set lightly on my hips. He took great care with each movement, almost as though he was walking on eggshells.

"What...did..." he let the questions die in the air.

"Harry, it's okay," I said.

"Did I do something wrong?" he finally forced out.

He looked at me as though he were pleading for the answers to everything, to every question he ever had, and he thought I knew the answers. Harry was looking at me like I was the answer. There was something freeing about being regarded that way. Maybe he looked at me like this all the time or thought of me as the actual answer.

"No—"

"Then what's wrong?" he asked, pulling me back down onto his lap slowly.

I could feel what was wrong. I wasn't scared of his member hardened beneath me. What I was scared of was the fact that a home could be toppled down if not cared for correctly. Harry was my main source of happiness at this point.

I cleared my throat softly and ground my hips against his. His fingertips dug deep into my skin and his jaw clenched forcefully. Harry lifted me up slightly and sat me back on his knees as if I weighed nothing.

"Uh, do you want more cider? I'm sure that there's still plenty," he said, changing the subject.

I reached out carefully and pressed my hand over his heart. If he didn't calm down soon, I was sure he'd find out what cardiac arrest was. With a soft smile, I said, "Harry, breathe. It's okay. It happens."

He looked around at everything but me, "I really don't feel like talking about it."

"Why?"

"I feel like some preteen boy."

"You don't feel like some preteen boy."

"You're not helping, Eden."

"I'm trying to be funny."

"I'd laugh if it was any other time than when I got a boner from a make out session with my girlfriend."

"That's normally how they start, Harry."

He sighed and glared a hole into my stomach. This was the time he was trying to take to get his issue to calm itself down. I wondered what he thought about when he was trying to...go soft.

"This is highly out of character for you, Eden. Stop staring at me."

I grinned, "I actually feel good, Harry. Sue me if it's such a problem."

He looked up at me quickly. The glare he had previously been wearing had been replaced by bewilderment. I watched as he tried to figure out how I could possibly feel good.

"I feel like...gold and sunshine," I said, taking him back to September 18th.

"Wait, which part of you feels like gold and sunshine?" Harry asked with a small grin. I hit his chest lightly and glared at him. His grin diminished, "You know what I'm feeling?"

I took a deep breath as I steeled myself; I wasn't sure if I could get myself ready for his answer, but this was the best way to try. My eyes looked over his face, from his strong chin to the deep pink lips that were set in a straight line, to the curve of his nose, and finally, just settling on his glowing green eyes. He looked every bit of serious as the first time I'd met him.

"I feel like I'm finally home after the longest trip of my life," Harry said, looking me straight in the eye.

&&&

It may be short, but quality over quantity, eh?

I also got my point across and gave everyone something to mull over. Have fun with that.

xoxo