If I only knew that happy ever after wasn't you. -Gin Wigmore
December 2010
I didn’t realize that the weather would be so unforgiving in the north or that even my aunt’s apartment would be just as cold inside as it was outside. The only great relief was the lack of wind and that my uncle had set up a fire. My mom had told them that we were from New Orleans and there isn’t such a thing as below freezing only this morning. My dad had laughed along with his sister and her husband. Apparently we were here to die.
Just a note about why we are actually in Kirkland—a little suburb east of Seattle. Mom and Dad are getting a divorce and can’t honestly tell us—my older brother, Reece, and Sam, my little brother. The only reason I know is because I’d found the divorce papers carelessly lying on the table when I came home from school early one day.
I didn’t ask about it and preferred not to care. The only one I know who’d be torn up about it would be Sam. He didn’t understand things like this quite yet since he was only nine. Reece and I knew it was coming from the countless fights and Mom never being home anymore. But I was the only one who really knew it was here, and I preferred for it to stay that way until things were final.
Mom and Dad hadn’t thought about that. Things were not final and trials were coming up. So here we are, forced to live in this cold as hell suburb with no connection to our friends back in New Orleans. Mom and Dad were heading back tonight to go through the trials. There would probably not be another day that we’d sit down and pretend things were okay.
In my opinion, that’s okay. I get to curl up by the fire with a lovely book for however long this is going to take. The only people I’ll have to honestly worry about are Sam and Reece.
“Eden, honey,” Mom said and sat down beside me. I looked away from the crackling flames and let my thoughts burn. Mom looked around and saw Sam sleeping in the Lazy Boy. When she got up, I followed her towards the upstairs and into the room Aunt Jenna and Uncle Max had provided me.
Aunt Jenna and Uncle Max had never been able to have children and were too scared to adopt. I felt so horrible that Mom and Dad would push us out onto them, but I knew how much they loved having us around. It eased the pain only slightly until I’d see Aunt Jenna touching her stomach.
Mom shut the door behind me and moved to sit at the desk chair in the corner. I walked over and sat down in the middle of the bed. During this three year struggle in the family, my mom and I have drifted apart. We fight almost as much as her and Dad which saddens me to an extent.
As I look at her now with her posture not nearly as perfect as it used to be and her brown curls looking lifeless and flat, I realize now that she can’t take anymore. All of this fighting and hatred has aged her and sucked the happiness out of her once vibrant brown eyes. She looked tired. It isn’t the kind from working a long shift or cleaning the house all day; she was more than exhausted.
And now I wished that I hadn’t been so cruel to her during my junior high years. Mom didn’t deserve the horrible words I threw her way.
“Eden…” she started and then sighed. I watched her slouch in the chair even more as she fought for the words. “I haven’t told Reece or Sam yet because they wouldn’t understand like you do. Reece is so busy with his friends and football that he knew things but…And Sam is just so young. And I know you know already that your father and I…we just don’t work.
“You and Reece know we’re leaving tonight, but Eden, he doesn’t know why. I know you know about the divorce so I’m also going to tell you something more. Please, don’t fight me on this. It’s for the best, okay?”
I nodded. Mom wasn’t crying but her eyes were red-rimmed and staring to get glassy. I wanted to feel bad, to feel something about why she was going to cry. But we both knew where I stood on the shaky ground; I was keeping Sam, Reece, and Dad from falling. I’d chosen my side and severed all ties emotionally with the woman who gave birth to me.
And we both knew why.
“You and Reece and Sam aren’t coming back to New Orleans,” Mom whispered.
I stopped breathing.
New Orleans is where we belong, where we grew up.
We weren’t going back.
Does that mean that Dad has custody or that Mom is giving him us without a fight?
Oh my god, what about all of my friends? What about our plans for the rest of high school? What about Jackson?
“You’re going to go with your father and live wherever he decides. You and I both know that he’ll choose somewhere around here. He just loves it here, always has, always will,” she continued.
“That’s not fair,” I mumbled.
That’s when she cracked. Mom became a blubbering mess right before my eyes and no one seemed to come to her aid. It was just me with her in this room full of unpacked bags and shared secrets.
I couldn’t comfort her. That was like lying not only to myself but to her. She’d walk out of here with the false hope that not everything between us had been destroyed. I think the only way she was going to get through this was if she could admit to herself that things were done.
But besides that, I couldn’t even comfort myself.
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In my mind, I created Eden and then she turned out to look similar to Chloe Moretz. Fun times...
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed...had a good time...commented...(comments get dedications.)...voted...you know...
xoxo
