5sos Blurb Book #4

mashton

strands of blue hair in white knuckled fists and tears falling easily onto the white tile were things he didn't want to believe were happening
he knew it'd be happening with the treatment — but he never thought about how ashton and how this must be affecting him

such a fucking burden

'baby? you okay?'
'y-yeah i'm fine.'
'you sure?'
it was quiet
'no.' he whispered and he let out a sob, ashton sighing and jiggling the doorknob
'open the door baby.'
michael shuffled over and unlocked the door, ashton pushing it over a second later
'hey, kitten.' he pulled him to his chest and michael started to cry again, his hands still clutching his hair as he fisted his shirt 'what's wrong?'
michael stepped back and sniffled, opening his palms with pink cheeks embarrassed — like a child who broke something.
ashton stared at the strands of blue and sighed, cupping michael's face and biting his lip as he gazed into his eyes
'it's okay baby, we knew it would happen.' he whispered and michael crashed into his chest 'we knew the chemo would do that.' he rubbed his back
'i know.' he sobbed, clutching onto him 'i know, i'm sorry i'm sorry.' he whispered
'no.' he cooed, rubbing his back, 'what — why're you sorry?' he whispered
'i'm sorry th-that i won't be able to take care of myself  anymore.' he whispered, sniffling violently
'hey.' he mumbled 'i'll always take care of you.' he took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

'you got it baby, you're okay.'
he was getting stronger — but still weak — his body looking so small and fragile as he puked again
ashton did as much research about chemotherapy as possible, and he knew that nausea was a side effect of it
so he rubbed his back, watching with a small smile as he saw that michael was strong enough to push himself back into bed
'you okay?'
'yeah.' he panted, adjusting his beanie
'you're doing really well.'
michael coughed and shrugged weakly
'baby--'
'mr. irwin, a word.'
ashton turned to look at the doctor and michael swallowed, fiddling with his hands
ashton stood and leaned to kiss his beanie before leaving the room, closing the door and to leave michael with his anxious thoughts
'yes sir?' ashton asked nervously but the doctor smiling
'i have great news.'
ashton felt like he could breathe a little
'a-and?'
'michael should be able to leave by next month.' he said, double checking his clipboard and ashton's eyes widened
'really? h-he..' his eyes filled and he grinned 'he'll be able to come home?' he looked to the floor and shook his head 'after a year and a half.' he mumbled
the doctor smiled and patted his shoulder
'he's a strong one.'
'i know.' he whispered

ashton opened the door to michael shaking with nerves
'w-what'd he say?' he whispered nervously, his eyes wide
but ashton grinned with teary eyes and michael furrowed his eyebrows.