5sos Blurb Book #4

190. cake

a bit mature

his lips were tugged in a smirk before he turned around, but it fell the minute he did.

he couldn't believe it.

'w-what are you....?'
'you told me t-to keep my eyes on you.'

through the dimly lit air calum was groaning and grunting as he picked up speed on himself, luke's mouth falling open in shock.

'w-wait a second i-i--'

it was too late though. calum released his load with a growl and strings of profanities, his chest heaving as he flopped off his elbow and onto the bed.

sex between luke and calum had always been passionate, but not to the degree luke had wanted. and now he watched from the doorway, naked and hard himself, his mouth open in disappointment because he told calum a billion times he wanted to take it slow tonight, to really put in romance way more than they normally did.

that's why he filled the dim lit room with rose petals and lilac and candles and he even got wine and chocolate because he wanted this night to be absolutely fucking perfect.

but now he's standing at the doorway like an idiot because his boyfriend was already spent not even ten minutes in.

calum sighed in bliss and he rolled his head to the right, seeing one of the candles on the nightstand which made him jolt up with remembrance and look at luke with wide eyes.

he saw his face dropped in sadness and disappointment, how his eyes were a bit glossy and how his lips were parted in shock.

fucking hell, calum.

'luke, baby..'

but the blonde had already given up in the doorframe, and with disappointment still radiating in his face he reached in his drawer nearby to get some clothes.

'babe, i-i..' calum shook his head and closed his eyes, chanting about his idiocy in his mind.
'i-i am so unbelievably sorry, i-i wasn't- i wasn't thinking--'

he tried to reach for him but luke shook his head, pulling sweatpants over his legs (and his still hard on), grabbing a jumper and whipping it over his head.

and just like that the younger boy walked out with a sigh- sadness clouding his features, because he wanted to create something beautiful with calum tonight, but now that was ruined.

does this mean that i can't get him off as well as he can to himself?

am i really not desirable at all to him?

he had always been insecure about sex, how he was the kid who never got laid in high school and how he was always named a prude and the like and he just- he finally got that tad of confidence with calum.

it was slowly dwindling.

calum stood up at the same time luke crashed on the couch downstairs, and rapidly blowing out the candles calum whipped on a tshirt and sweatpants.

'babe.' he literally ran down the stairs and witnessed his boyfriend looking more hurt now than anything, and he immediately sat on the couch and pulled him on top of him.

'i'm so sorry.' he buried in his neck as he squirmed on his lap. 'i'm so sorry i wasn't thinking about what you wanted- you've been wanting- i was being so selfish and self absorbed- i'm so so fucking sorry.'

'i-i don't wanna sit here.' he mumbled, still squirming as he tried to escape calum's hold. and the maori boy slowly loosened his arms and the blonde slid out, shuffling away to the other side of the couch.

luke's face held a look of uncertainty- a tad of hesitancy- and calum didn't like the way his lips were in a straight line.

'whatever's in your mind right now, erase it. because i doubt it's true.'

'it's jus'..' he whispered, shaking his head. 'd'you- d'you..i guess- find me attractive? still?' he closed his eyes and turned his face away a bit.

calum studied his profile and how his face showed nothing but nerves and hurt, and he doesn't know how he was such a fucking idiot.

'still? what d'you mean still-'

'i've been with you for a long time.' he whispered, shaking his head and opening his eyes to look at his hands. 'i..is it me? or how i do things or--'

'of course i still find you attractive. i'd still think so even if i was blind.' he furrowed his eyebrows and bit his lip, his hand reaching to hold his thigh. 'and as for that upstairs, that was me. my fault only. i promise you that.'

he didn't get an answer. just one shrug.

'baby.' he slid on his knees in front of where he was sitting, hugging his shins to his stomach and holding the bottoms of his feet that couldn't even touch the floor. 'please forgive me. please?' he left a kiss on his knee and luke looked down at him with a sniff, biting his lip and looking away.

calum's heart shattered. 'oh no, lovely, no tears, please no tears.' he whispered when a tear ran down his cheek, but luke wiped it away and shook his head. 'please don't cry because of me. i'm so not worth it.' he cooed and carefully pulled him off the couch and onto the floor, his legs wrapped around calum's waist and his arms moving around his neck as he was situated on calum's lap.

'i love you oh so much.' he wiped another tear and shushed him gently when he hiccuped. 'please don't cry, i didn't mean t'hurt you.' he whispered, his own eyes filling quickly. 'i'm so sorry.'

luke sniffled and buried in his neck, feeling calum's hand stroking his back. 'you're my beautiful boy, i love you more than anything, baby, always.' he whispered it into his ear, humming lightly. 'you're the best i'll ever get, baby. i'm sorry i made you doubt that.'

luke sniffled and nodded. ''s okay.' he whispered, kissing his neck a few times to prove to him.

calum turned his face and luke picked his head up, looking deep into each other's eyes for what seemed like years.  calum nudged his lips onto luke's and the blonde's eyes fluttered shut, his breath fanning against tanner skin. his hand came up to luke's cheek and his thumb stroked his skin, caressing his cheekbone.
'let me make it up to you.' calum's lips brushed his before he kissed him deeply, slowing down to feel everything he could. 'let me?' he whispered as he pulled away, his lips barely, but just enough, closing in on luke's bottom one. luke's eyes were still closed but they fluttered back open and he nodded.

calum smiled softly and kissed him again, standing up still looking into blue eyes.

and they slowly made their way upstairs with even slower kisses, ones taking longer all with their foreheads pressed together and small giggles escaping between them.