Enlightenment

Part 32

              For the second time I woke up to find Jamie’s arm wrapped around me. I breathed in slowly inhaling his warm scent, feeling my lips curve into a smile as I observed his peaceful expression.

              Suddenly they events of the previous day came rushing back to me, along with my fury towards David, and my crushing guilt when I thought of Jamie. I moved away from him guiltily, sitting back on my side of the bed with my chin resting on my knees.

              Had I really led David on? I had never meant to… I had never even been aware of the intensity of his feelings towards me, not consciously at least. I know I have always gotten along with him well, but I never thought of him as more than a friend… or did I?

              No. There was no way. Sure it had felt almost… good for a moment there when he kissed me, but it was nothing to the way I felt just thinking about Jamie…

“Jade?”

              I jumped violently as his sleepy voice startled me from my thoughts.

“Hello,” my voice sounded slightly awkward, even to me. I didn’t meet his eyes.

His forehead creased in concern, “are you ok?” when I remained silent he continued, “I… heard about your fight with David.” I stiffened but when he didn’t say anything else I knew he didn’t know the reason behind it; he wouldn’t push me for answers. I felt his arms circle around me from behind.

“I kissed him!” I blurted before clamping my mouth shut so I couldn’t reveal anything else without thinking. I felt him freeze behind me.

              Slowly I pulled away so I could turn and look at him, my breath caught as I saw his face, the early morning sun reflected in his eyes bringing out the green, and catching the lighter strands of his hair softly. The only thing that ruined the image was his expression; strangely closed off and cold, although I could see the hurt he was trying to hide.

              I didn’t know what to say so I just stared back at him helplessly, he was silent for a long time. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to break the silence.

“I didn’t mean to I swear! It’s just that he came in my room, and he kind of cornered me, and started going on about all these feelings he apparently has… and then he suddenly kissed me even though I told him-“

“Jade.” The sound if his voice cut me off mid-sentence, making me feel embarrassed about my outburst. I watched him nervously, “its ok.”

I think my mouth fell open, “what?” I uttered inelegantly,

“It’s ok,” he repeated, sounding surer now, “You don’t have to make excuses to me-“

“But-“he held a hand up to stop me,

“I know you well enough to believe that you are not the kind of person who would… well, anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is…that I trust you. The fact that you came and admitted what happened to me just proves that I should.” I smiled at him weakly, “besides… I heard you threw him through a dresser … that also helps.”

I broke into a full blown smile, “thank you… I can’t put into words how much that means to me, really” He drew me back into his arms and I looked up at him, “but regardless, I still want to apologize, I’m sorry.”

He sighed, “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Thank you.” I repeated.

The tension between us was almost tangible. Desire filled he gaze as he leaned down, his lips meeting mine, softly at first then becoming harder, more demanding, I kissed him back enthusiastically, fuelled by my rampant emotions I pushed him back on the bed, before climbing on top of him and kissing my way up his neck and back to his mouth; he let out a soft moan as my tongue danced with his.