Note 8

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65 days ago,

Dear D,

I miss you. I so fucking miss you that it hurts. It hurts to know that you miss me too. It hurts to see it in your eyes. But what hurts more to know that there is no way I can pull us out of this state.

I need to getaway from you, to save you.

I was sitting on the same verandah, lit by the moonlight with a cigarette on my mouth.

Only one thing was missing. You.

You lying over me and asking me why do I smoke and I would just quip, "I smoke to die" and you would just throw the cigarette out and your lips would take its place.

I am smoking my second pack.
Only today, actually smoking to die.

Love,
Jeremy.

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