You're Weird, I Like You • Frerard ✓

XXXVII

*FRANK'S P.O.V*

I run all the way to Gerard's house. I knock on the door with a shaky hand and Gerard opens it up. He is still in his pajamas since last time I saw him but his face and hair seemed to be cleaned up. He doesn't smell so much of smoke anymore. 

Stoner, stoner, stoner, stoner...

He gives me a lopsided grin. "Hey Frank, I didn't know you were coming back over." 

I don't say anything, I just push the backpack against his chest. His grin turns into a confused smile as he looks down at the bag. He grabs a hold of it and let's his eyes go wide, opening the bag and searching through it. 

"Here," I say, my voice breaking a bit. I give him the bag of pot and a disapproving look. Gerard's eyes only widen.

"Frank, I-" I don't stay around to hear what's next. I push past him, running upstairs. I jog to the first door to the left and push it open. Inside, Mikey is play video games on his carpeted floor. He whips his head to look over at me, his eyebrows furrowing. 

"Frank?" He says, pausing the game. I let my lip tremble as I walk towards him. "Hey, what's wrong?" 

I let out a sob as I leap toward him, wrapping my arms around him an crying. He seems surprised by my embrace but rubs my back. 

"What's wrong, Frank?" Mikey asks, pulling his head away from my hair to fix his glasses. "Do you want me to get Gerard?"

I pull myself out of the hug, sitting next to him. I shake my head while wiping away stray tears that didn't make it to Mikey's shirt. "No, please. I can't deal with him right now."

Mikey gazes at me with something in between pity and worry. "What did the idiot do now?" 

I let out a shaky breath and let my head fall back on that bed. I gulp so hard and so many times that my throat feels raw. My eyes hurt from crying. Crying, that's all I feel like doing. I bite my lip to keep it from trembling. 

Did I cause this? Has Gerard always did pot? Was he some kind of dealer? Is that why he carried so much on him? Where did he even get it from? 

"Your brother smokes weed," I find myself saying. It just flooded out of me. Like a tidal wave, with no control and all overboard. 

Mikey looks at me funny. He furrows his eyebrows but he's got a small smile on his face.

Was everyone going mad?

He gulps loudly, wincing a bit at this thought. He bites his lip. "How do you know?" I know that he's feeling it too because his voice breaks in between. 

"My mum found it in his bag." 

"Your mom, eh?" Mikey runs his fingers through his hair as he takes it all in. I scoff. 

"That's not even the worst part!" I complain. "My mom found the weed, pack of cigarettes which were Gerard's and.... Another thing which we won't get into detail about." 

"That's rough,"

"And I said some nasty things to her, man." I groan at the memory of the cruel things I said. I said that to the women who raised me. The women who had me as a teenager. The women who was an even better mother because she had me at a teenager, giving up everything for me. I feel tears coat my view and Mikey just rubs my shoulder. 

"It's not even the words she said back, or what I even said in the first place, y'know?" I explain, letting stray tears leave my eyes. "It's the look she gave me. One that was full of disappointment and sadness." I rub my hands on my face hard, hoping to get rid of the image. Mikey just coos. 

"And I don't even know why Gerard would do weed!" I exclaim, fisting my hair. "Did I do something, can I stop him?"

Does he wanna stop?

"Maybe." Mikey says, pulling me into a side hug. I rest my head on his shoulder and continue to cry. 

Who knows how long a rant for after that, all I know is that my brain hurts, my eyes were probably bright scarlet and I was about to fall asleep any moment. Mikey stayed there with me. I never had a friend like this. Usually it was just my mom who would listen to me like this, but now that I had someone, it was amazing.

"Thank you." I say in a hoarse voice. Mikey smiles but in a perplexed manner. 

"Why are you thanking me?"

"For listening to me." I say softly. Mikey just shots me a rare grin and leaves me be.

.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.+*+.

I fall asleep in Mikey's bed, or so Mikey thought. He left the room when he thought I was sleeping. 

But the truth was I didn't want to be asleep. I wanted my eyes closed, sure but I didn't want to be unconscious. I wanted to know what was going on around me. I wanted to know of anyone came in, I wanted to know if anyone was doing anything because I feel like I had missed so much. But I wanted my eyes closed. I wanted to think about something better. I wanted to stop myself from crying. I didn't want to be disappointed anymore.

I hear the door open and I tense up, sliding farther down into the blanket that was covering me. I wanted to feel safe.  

Who ever was in the room padded towards the bed and climbed into it. They positioned their self next to me with their arms wrapping around my torso from under the blanket. 

I knew who it was, but I didn't stop them. 

That word didn't ring through my head either.

He rests his head in my neck and kisses it. "I know you're awake." I don't move. He kisses across the back of my neck and shoulders and I give in. I turn around in his arms so that I was facing him and I say... Nothing. 

For once in my life, I have nothing to say. I just to don't say anything. I taken in the way Gerard is looking at me and I way I was looking at him. The silence on the air rings around us, speaking words that we could express even if we spoke. Confusion, hurt and adornment fills the atmosphere where nothing is said.

Nothing is said because nothing need to be said. Real emotion couldn't be translated through words, but through action and emotion. Nothing was said because nothing said it all.

Sure, Gerard probably thought I was hurt and disappointed but when he reached down into the sides of my pants and felt the rough, lacy material and smiled, he knew I wasn't done.