ivy; s.m.

f i f t e e n

"DID you know there's only a month left before finals?" Ash asked.

"Ugh, really?" I groaned, playing with a little piece of hair that stuck out of my ponytail funny.

"Do you ever look at a calendar?" she snorted, and I laughed and nearly dropped my phone. We were walking to math class, or, she was walking me and skipping with Callum. He really was nice, he loved her.

Ash was unique, with her dark hair. She was big, in many ways. Big hips, big chest, big personality. And he could handle it. Him with the dark eyebrows and the gorgeous lips.

He was almost as handsome as Shawn.

We made it to math and I sat down where I always do. Shawn had his head in his hands, soft hair flung across his head like he'd swept it back with a broom. He looked terrible, but lately he always did.

I looked down at my notebook as the teacher began to speak. His hand was shaking and it gripped his pencil with immense strength. He was a mess.

-

After class, as I was getting my stuff together, he approached me. The bell had rung and everyone hurried home or to the bus. We were alone.

"Ivy," he whispered.

"Shawn, please leave me alo-"

I don't know what to say. Sometimes, people surprise you. They do things you weren't expecting. But I never freaking imagined that would happen, fück.

His lips crashed onto mine, and he ran his left hand through my loose hair. I think I kissed him back, I don't remember, but he tasted so damn sad. Like rain and salt and toothpaste.

It was after that day, that I started to feel different about him.

-

I didn't get on the bus. It was my only way home, but I just couldn't. Not after that. So I stayed with him.

Fifteen minutes after three and everyone had left (mostly.) I followed Shawn to the back of the yard and he plopped down under a tall pine tree.

The sky was clouded over and bright, and a cool wind ruffled the branches of the tree. Pine needles clung to my leggings and in my hair.

"My mom died." he said suddenly, and I jerked my head up.

"I'm so sorry." Little daisies peeked up from the grass, and I ran my fingers over their faces.

"That's what everyone always says," he replied, before continuing. "That's why I moved schools. The house reminded my dad of her, he couldn't take it."

It was hard to believe that this seemingly rude boy was actually struggling with something. Now that I understood, it was harder to hate him.

"He doesn't talk to me. Just goes to work and comes home and drinks. He doesn't help me grieve or anything. He's like a zombie."

Shawn scratched the back of his neck and sighed. His jaw was tense.

"So I had a stupid party, I got drunk and trashed the house, but he didn't even care! Just went up to his damn room!" he was yelling now, anger pouring out of him. He wasn't even looking at me anymore, he was glaring at the school.

"Maybe his way of dealing with it is not dealing at all." I said. His eyes flickered back to me, and his face softened.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk to you." Shawn mumbled.

"Honestly, I was starting to wonder if you were bipolar. This makes a lot more sense." I replied quietly.

My finger traced circles on the back of his hand, and I lay my head against the trunk of the tree. "But I don't understand why you're telling me this. And why did you kiss me?"

"Why does anyone ever kiss anybody?" he asked, a smile tugging on the corner of his mouth.

I shrugged, and he leaned forward and kissed me again. Slowly. My eyes were closed, and when he pulled back, it was like my heart was struggling to break free from my ribcage.

"Because I like you, Ivy." he said, those brown eyes of his melting my heart, "I like you a lot."

*fangirls for hours*
I NEED A SHIP NAME