Purity // Zico

5

"It is hard to please everyone."

Chapter Five

"Oh my god..." it hit me then and there, as I stared at an empty sheet of paper, waiting for the next big hit to write itself. That's why that girl, Chan, was stuck in my mind for the past week... why her face seemed so familiar, practically burned into my eyes, racking my brain trying to figure out why I knew her; well I didn't know her but- She's the girl in the coffee shop... Most days I find myself wander to this quaint shop, needing a break from my suffocating recording studio. No one notices or recognizes me, but I almost always see this girl sitting in the corner on her laptop. And Chan was that girl; I remember thinking that I liked her hair, or the way her face scrunched up when she got frustrated at whatever was on the screen.

All this time she was friends with Yukwon's girlfriend. The girl I had grown fond of by just seeing her in a store, had been in my reach the whole time.

"You good?" Kyung's voice ripped my thoughts away from Chan.

"You remember the girl I told you about from the coffee shop?"

"The girl you practically stalk when you're there cause you think she's pretty? Yah, I recall you talking about her only once or twice.."

"It's Chan."

"What."

"That girl from Sunhye's, that's her."

"A-are you sure?"

"Positive. I have no clue why I didn't notice sooner."

"Well you seem out of luck; it didn't seem like she liked you all that much."

"No... that can't be it."

"Oh geese, now you're gonna try to talk to her next time aren't you?" He rolled his eyes, getting up from his chair.

"That's a good idea actually."

"Oh fuck I just gave you an idea." Apart of me felt it wouldn't be wise to approach her after last time, but maybe it was a one time thing. Maybe I've been infatuated with her for the longest time... and this has to be a sign.

-later that day-

She sat on the back, at the same table as every other time I saw her, headphones in as she typed away on her Mac only looking away to copy notes. Taking a deep breath, I made my way over to her, my drink and an extra in hand.

"Can I sit here?" It only took a second, but Chan removed an earbud. Her eyes widened- she recognized me.

"U-u-uh I- uh..."

I decided to sit anyways, "I'm sorry about what happened when we last met-"

"Y-you're f-fine... I-I h-have t-to work if y-you-"

"Listen I'm very sorry, I got you a drink, I noticed you were out." I set it besides the computer.

"T-thanks..." her eyes never once met mine as her fingers fiddled with a pencil.

I felt stuck as I desperately watched Chan, waiting for a sign or for her to say something, "look I've seen you here at this coffee shop before, I know that sounds weird, but I think you're pretty if that means anything."

"T-thank you." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, but a faint blush worked its way up her cheeks- the first good reaction I've gotten out of her.

"I'm Jiho."

"Chan..."

"It's nice to finally meet you- ah sorry, I swear I'm not a creep..."

"I-it's fine. Y-you're f-friends with Yukwon s-so I-I don't t-think you are..." Her stuttering was quiet but evident, and I could tell it was from nerves alone too. Was she okay? My chest felt tight as I watched her struggle to even keep herself together, did she really dislike me that much?

***

I felt nauseous as Jiho tried to talk to me, my head spun, I felt sick. He seemed so nice yet I couldn't take it. Why would he, Zico, waste his time trying to talk to me; to any guy I would've seemed like a mess, unstable. How come he wasn't running?

The air surrounding us seemed tense, unsure,
confusing, strange. People seemed to come and go as their usual; the ringing bell of the door, was the only noise to be heard besides all the chatter. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Never had I been in this close of proximity with a guy I didn't know in years- and it was much too close for comfort.

"I-I should get going." I said, closing my computer and packing up my stuff. I needed to maintain my composure the best I could as I was on the edge of a breakdown.

"Are you okay?" Jiho stood up as well, towering over me. I stepped back, a panic rising in my chest.

"D-don't hurt me..." I whimpered softly, barely a whisper.

But her heard. His mouth formed an 'O' shape as if he understood something my mind couldn't comprehend at the moment, "Hey I'm not going to hurt you Chan." But words were just words. His hand then came up against my cheek tenderly, "you have soft cheeks..."

"Y-you seem n-nice but I-I can't." Snatching up what I could, I fled away from the idol without drawing attention over.

***

"It's okay Chan, I'm going to have a talk with him... I'm so sorry he approached you." Sunhye's voice was filled with anger but sadness. She was the first person I could think to call.

"It's okay... he seemed sweet but I couldn't handle him being around me. He's just so intimidating."

"Trust me I know dear, but his intentions were probably good... and if I had known you were the girl he talked about constantly-"

"W-what do you mean?" Why am I being referred to as 'this girl?'

"Oh well you see... Jiho goes there a lot to clear his head, and you're there a lot too so he noticed you and always talked about wanting to talk to you."

"Really?" The thought of any guy finding me appealing made me feel a little better. That doesn't happen to me everyday.

"Yeah. He thought you were pretty."

"I'm not pretty Sunhye..."

"Oh yes you are miss Channie. Don't even argue with me about it, don't listen to Ming." My friends voice was a lot more harsh than I had ever heard before.

"I guess..."

"And maybe, don't hate me for this, but you should try talking to Jiho. He can be intense at times, quick to anger, but he protects those he loves. He'd be good for you."

"I'm good. I really don't have room for a boyfriend."

"I'm just saying. You need to get some guy friends who aren't James or Lucas."

"I'm good with just them."

"How are you going to get married one day?" Sunhye laughed. Her voice sounded amused over the phone; she knew what my family wanted of me, and marriage was apart of it without a doubt.

"I won't."

"Alright whatever. I gotta go, but remember Chan you're beautiful!"

"Bye..." I whispered before hearing a 'click.'

My self esteem was low- that was probably the best way to put it. Years of emotional abuse by both my family, friends and myself; it takes a toll. There was no way I could let anyone in, or even myself for that matter.

[was this ch. too straight forward?]
[also I got to see AOMG live it was amazing]