Purity // Zico

7

"A man is never too old to learn."

Chapter Seven

"Jesus Chan, that's crazy."

"Please don't say anything."

"I won't." James sighed, "of all people you could possibly meet its Zico of Block B and that guy's intimidating as hell."

"He sure was when I met him.." The whole ordeal had finally turned into this huge weight, a burden that constantly was on my mind. I gave in and told James about Jiho; there was no one else for me to really turn to. I had watched as my friends forward became creased, like he was deep in thought. Worry was etched onto his features and a word hardly left his mouth.

"I honestly don't know what to tell you."

"Why?"

"I really don't know what kind of guy he is. I mean I'm into his music and his rap is fire, but he just seems..." he paused, "harsh, selfish, serious, but then he seems like a genuine, loyal, real person at the same time. Maybe you should just take Somin's advice."

"What if I'm just overthinking this whole thing and-"

"Normally I would say you are, but for him to compliment you like that and try to talk to you, I'm sure he likes you."

A foreign kind of frustration rose up into my chest, "how can you just say that? There's no proof and-"

"I'm a guy Chan, I wouldn't have done that to a girl if I didn't have any kind of 'thing' for her."

"Thing?"

"Like... you like the person but- it's complicated. I feel like crushes and relationships always start out with someone having a thing."

"Oh okay."

"Just try to talk to him maybe."

"Should I tell him about... but like... I don't want to. People get so easily offended."

"Yeah I'd wait. I wouldn't ever really tell anyone so."

"I feel stupid." I felt awfully blunt saying that, but I truly did. Never have I ever felt so clueless and helpless before. This is a ground I've never treaded upon in my whole life, I've honestly never had any sort of interest in a guy.

"Huh? Why?"

There felt like no words to explain how I really felt, you just had to have gone through it before to understand; I hardly even, "I just do."

"I wouldn't. Anything's worth a shot."

***

Try something new.

Anything's worth a shot.

Somin's and Jame's words rang through my head as I slowly but surely made my way towards the ever so familiar coffee shop. My shift working at our University's library was over, which meant it was my usual time to come anyways... The wind has picked up much earlier today, whipping people's hair in all directions. No one seemed to care about anyone else at the moment, pushing just to get wherever they needed to. It felt as if I were trapped in a slow motion dream, I didn't want to do what I was about to. Not at all, but there was a thought nagging me in the back of my head that wouldn't go away; telling me to continue. Even though I really didn't want to.

The overwhelming smell of coffee made my stomach feel sick, for probably the first time too. Of course I spotted Jiho, as usual, standing in line. Perfectly timed to much dismay...

"H-hey..." I tugged on his jacket sleeve softly approaching him,

"Chan!" shock was apparent on his face, but it soon turned pleasant, "Hey, what's up?"

"N-nothing, I wanted to say hi..."

"I'm glad you did."

"S-sorry to bother you if I-"

"No you didn't." A smile formed on his lips, "would you like anything? My treat."

"Oh uh d-don't bother-"

"I insist."

"Okay then..." I was never one to argue with anyone over silly things, or really at all. I was always told I was too passive for my own good, a bit of a pushover at times too. It was enough for me to put myself in this situation, I don't want to make it any worse.

"Alright good, what would you like?"

"Just a coffee please." He nodded. To be totally honest, I would've loved about three at this moment... I could feel my heart beat starting to speed up, my hands becoming sweatier by each passing second. All I had to do was stay calm.. which was much easier said than done.

Sitting across from Jiho, is gaze was lingering over my face. I could tell because he looked worried, like he had something else to say; he could probably see me shaking slightly. The hot liquid swayed in the cup- about to spill; my hands were too unsteady. He probably didn't say anything because it could be taken as rude. It's not like he could get any worse than Ming.

"Have I done anything to... offend you?" Jiho seemed to struggle with his choice of words, he almost seemed to quickly regret saying what he had just said.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I-I'm just not great with new people." It was basically the truth, in a way.

"Makes sense, you seem shy..."

"Yeah..." It felt wrong of him to make assumptions? But he seemed like someone to speak his mind without a filter at times. At the moment smugness and confidence seemed to reek from him.

"What led you to talk to me then?"

"I don't know, you seem nice."

"Ah thanks I guess." Jiho sipped whatever he ordered, "you seem very sweet."

I never was able to take compliments well. It's hard to find truth in them when you've been put down your whole life, "t-thanks.." my voice was faint.

"It's true yah know. Be more confident in yourself." I froze at his comment. Could he read me easily or something? I always tried to hide my low points as best I could.

"I- uh-"

"I was just saying." a small look of panic flashed through his eyes, "I wasn't trying to upset you-"

"You're fine Jiho." My head started to spin, "I gotta go."

"Want a ride home?"

"I-I'm fine."

"You don't seem okay." He stood up as I did, grabbing onto my arm. An electric feeling shot from my arm down my spine... no one ever would just touch me like that.

"I'm okay." Being able to shake his grasp I made my way outside, head pounding-

"Chan you're pale please-" before I could register anything else, everything went black and all I could feel before completely losing consciousness was my body being caught.

[sorry it took a bit to update, I have school and track going on /sighs/]