Purity // Zico

6

"All things are difficult before they are easy."

Chapter Six

It was sudden, but now everyone I was acquainted with seemed to bring up love to me. Annoying it really was- I almost felt offended to be completely honest, I had extreme anxiety over being around males and now it's all they can talk about... but it hurt.

-two and a half years ago-

Tears dripped onto the unsanitary bathroom floor with a mixture of leaking shower water. Car horns, sirens, and sounds of construction blended together in the background all becoming the one sound of home. It covered up the muffled sound of sobs, the banging on the bathroom door, if only it could cover up the red liquid pooling within the water.

My body hurt, my thighs, wrists, my head even stung of past haunting migraines. Pain wasn't always asked for, why would I want any of this?

"OPEN UP?" The noise of my furious father finally reached my ears. I flinched, "NOW!" the only problem was, was that I couldn't move, my body ached and nothing wanted to listen. My mind screamed in agony, a pulsating stinging spread throughout my cuts, I just wanted out... soon the door banged open, a dark looming figure dragged my body upwards. I stayed awake long enough to feel my body hit my all too familiar bed, another slam sounded- I wasn't alone, "why do you always have to get your blood everywhere!? You're a worthless daughter and you put this family to shame."

"I-I'm sorry..." my voice was meek, wavering. I had no energy to fight, argue, not even to help my self if something turned sour.

"You better be." his stare was intense. I was scared, and he knew it. But even though I wanted to shrink in a corner and hide for the rest of my life, deep down I knew he would do nothing. My mother wouldn't let him.

I watched through blurry vision my father leave my bedroom, a click sounded behind him. There really was no way out for me.

-present time-

I still remember how empty, lonely, lost, and stuck I felt all those years of my life; it got worse towards the end- but now all those events seemed like another era. Moving to Korea changed my life completely, finally I was free from the clutches of my father. On occasion my thoughts would linger to my mother, I do wonder what she's doing now.

Thin white lines were hardly visible anymore, or at least I thought. In the right light they were very noticeable, or according to those I know, they always are. I must just be used to them now... just thinking about what I purposely put myself through made me shiver. I knew for a fact that I made things worse just because I was unstable, unaware of how it would make my future turn out.

"Hey did you finish that essay for whatever class we had to write one for..?"

"That's specific." I chuckled, Ming was obviously struggling with her writing.

"Oh I know, just proof read it when I'm done."

"Okay."

"Thanks.. Oh hey I'm going out tonight so I won't be around."

"Okay." I had no other response. I almost wanted her to sense how much I disproved of her actions, and she would just by my tone and one word answer I knew.