We Can Survive (Carl Grimes Fanfiction)

Chapter 9- Invincible

     Carl leaned in, so his face was inches from mine. I expected for him to whisper something, but when he shut his eyes and titled his head slightly to the right, I panicked. After realizing what was going on, I turned my head away from Carl's soft lips, which had been slightly parted in anticipation of the kiss. I turned back to him a few seconds later. He looked incredibly hurt.

     "I'm sorry.. I just... I don't want a relationship.. now.. it's just.. I.." I tried to explain before falling silent in defeat. I felt like I was an awful person for doing such an awful thing to such a perfect boy at such a perfect time. Carl just nodded glumly before standing. I scrambled to my feet beside him. I rushed over to the ladder and climbed up it slower than I would've liked to at the demand of my shin. Carl followed as I waited at the top. He removed the stakes which kept the ladder from sliding down the cliff and put everything in his backpack.

     We started the trek home, the previous events playing over and over in my mind. It sounds cliche but it was true; the almost-kiss truly was a mental recording which played time after time. I felt more and more hollow and upset, trying to walk off the ache radiating in my shin with each step. Unlike the walk to the hidden cave, I stared at my feet. I couldn't bring myself to look up at the trees and wonder innocently about life. Carl remained silent, staring ahead. He seemed angry or disappointed or both.

     After another 10 minutes of walking, I could no longer ignore my screaming shin, and asked,"Can we take a break?" Carl nodded sharply and sat on a nearby boulder. I did the same and lightly put pressure on the area surrounding my bruise. Carl remained completely still, which caused me to eventually look up. Carl was staring at me, and didn't bother to shift his gaze when I noticed.

     I sighed and said,"Okay, I get it. You're lonely and stuff. I honestly do enjoy your company, but I don't want to get involved in a relationship. In this world, relationships only end poorly. I decided that a long time ago." He finally decided to stop staring at me and looked down at his lap. I sighed again, laying back on the boulder. I shouldn't have even tried to be friends with Carl. Now we couldn't be friends and I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. 

     "Can we just forget it happened?" he mumbled, looking down at me with his blueish eyes. I nodded, feeling the relief spread across my face. He nodded as well, adjusting his sheriff hat to cover his eyes. I reached over, as I did last time, and moved his hat to reveal them. He smiled at me, but only with his mouth. I could see that he wasn't genuinely happy.

     I stood and said,"I'm ready if you are." he stood beside me and we started walking again.

     "How far from the prison?" I asked. I probably wouldn't be able to act natural around him for long periods of time, so I hoped it wasn't too far.

     "Like... ten minutes?" he suggested.

     "Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked with a small, friendly smile. He grinned and shrugged.

     "Good luck trying to figure me out!" he exclaimed.

     "I wish I could." I muttered absentmindedly. I felt Carl staring at me so I looked over at him. His brow was furrowed and he looked confused.

     "What do you mean?" he asked. I could see his eyes working to figure out what I meant.

     "Oh.. uh.. nothing. Just being absentminded." I chuckled, trying to act casual about it. He raised his  eyebrows.

     "When you say something absentmindedly it means you were thinking about it." he said firmly.

     "Can we just drop it?" I asked, slightly annoyed at his pestering.