Scomiche - Secret Diary of a Fangirl

25. Magic Man

(Quick A/N - TY to david and ava again - 

Also i'm still editing so pardon my mistakes ... :) )

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It was a rough night.   I eventually left the bathroom to get the screwdriver and try to get it off myself but I couldn't get my hands to steady long enough to do it and I just ended up frustrated and throwing the tiny tool and freaking out for the ten millionth time.  I broke down and let Troye in but only so I could beg him to take it off for me, but he refused. He tried for ages to get me to calm down, apologized for trying to push Dylan on me and I just ended up either falling asleep or passing out in his arms. I hate to think that it was the latter, but unfortunately that's probably the reality.

Today... I'm not really sure what to do. I went into robot manager mode and got everyone gathered and to the airport at the appropriate time, but now that we're here just waiting, my brain has time to drag me through the mud again.

I try to think about anything else, even going as far as doing math problems in my head to keep myself distracted, but it doesn't work for long.

My phone buzzes and no matter who it is, I'm not sure I'm ready to deal with it.

I unlock it, cringing for about the 20th time that morning when I see the cracked screen that resulted from one of my freak outs the night before. Thankfully it's David. I don't know that I could face anyone else. I know we'll be boarding soon so at least i can cut the convo short if needed.

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David: morning babe
David: Or is it afternoon? Damn timezones
David: Mitchy are you here? Let me know when you are

Mitch: hi

David: Hey
David: Do you feel better?
David: Did you sleep a bit?

Mitch: a little

David: Okay..okay that's good
David: I was worried

Mitch: i know im sorry
Mitch: im so messed up

David: don't be sorry. I'm glad you answered my call
David: It will get better honey, trust me

Mitch: everyone keeps saying that but i dont know that it will
Mitch: it just feels worse and worse
Mitch: We werent even together for fücks sake
Mitch: ii'm acting like he broke up with me
Mitch: theres something wrong with me

David: love isn't rational, and..well you guys were basically together babe.
David: Nothing is wrong with you, stop that

Mitch: I'm not trying to be dramatic... but there is and I don't know how to fix it
Mitch: I think ...

Do I want to tell him this? I've been thinking about it all morning since Troye suggested it. David won't judge me.. I hope.

Mitch: I think I need to talk to a professional

David: Well..I see no harm in talking to someone, but I don't think you need it
David: But if you think it will help, then go

Mitch: I need it to stop hurting and it just isn't
Mitch: Troye is afraid to leave me alone
Mitch: Whoever said time heals everything is full of shít 

David: I agree with that
David: but time helps a little
David: don't make any drastic decision right now, okay? Just...wait a bit
David: you had a rough night and you're not thinking straight now

Mitch: It's been almost 6 months ... I shouldn't still feel like this
Mitch: you don't know how bad it got ... in my head

David: Babe