My Little Princess

Chapter 8

Haven't read through this so ignore spelling mistakes and what not!

Chapter 8

I sat there in room with just the tiny light on. I drifted but startled back to wakefulness; I was scared of falling asleep. I didn't want it all to come, I didn't want the nightmares, I'm trying to block everything out. I hear footsteps outside and stare at the door they walk away then there was a tiny noise from the bathroom that put in shock, was anyone in there? Would he find me? I felt dirty again, I hadn't showered in three hours, I could smell him again. I got up and padded to the bathroom, stripping and climbing into the shower for the nth time today. After I felt as clean as I could be, I got out and re dressed. Silently getting into the bed with Clara, I will try to sleep. I told myself. I turned the light off and snuggled up into the covers and closed my eyes.

My frightened mind was playing tricks with me. I could hear his voice over and over again in my head. I saw his face leering down at me, a crazed wild expression on his face. I could feel the pressure of his hands, feel my body writhing under him trying to escape, my head lashing from side to side as I shouted "No No No", but no one came to save me. I broke out of the dream. I was shaking, sobbing and sweating. Wrapping my arms around myself desperately trying to find comfort I now craved, I felt Clara lean against me and I held her close to me until the shivering stopped. I closed my eyes again and let the nightmares flow.

"Please, please. No, please" I beg as his hand tightens around my wrists that his holding above my head "please" I scream and start shaking

"Mommy" I feel a little hand shake me "Mommy?" My puffy eyes open "Mommy are you okay?" Clara asked looking frightened

"I'm fine baby, sorry did I scare you?" I pull her into a hug, the night terror still raw in my head.

"You where screaming for ages, Mommy" she told me

"You keep calling me Mommy?"

"I'm still playing house" she said matter of factly. I nod like I understand. I still feel in a daze, I had woken up at least six times last night, screaming sometimes. I'm surprised I didn't wake Clara.

"What are we doing today, Mommy?" She beamed up at me

Why does she keep calling me Mommy? Im not her Mommy. I will never be her Mommy; I will never be a Mommy end of. Why is she doing this to me? Why does she think it's okay for her to call me Mommy? It's not okay. IM NOT HER MOTHER! I scream inside my head. Get a grip Lorelai she's three she doesn't know any better stop acting like it's the end of the world and just let her call you Mommy because at least it makes her happy calling you Mommy in this horrible, disgusting, vile, repulsive place that I need to get out of, My brain shouts back at me.

"Mommy?" Clara breaks me from my mini melt down in my head

"Uh?"

"What are we doing today?" she asks again

"Not sure, we will wait for phil. But right now let's shower and dress" I tell her, getting off the bed and taking her hand to follow me to the bathroom. I bathed Clara and dressed her in a pretty blue dress. Just as I was about to get undressed and in the shower there was a knock at the door. I quickly walked into the bedroom where Clara was now hiding under the bed leaving her dolls house wide open and toys fallen on the floor. I went to the door and tried to work out who it was by leaning down and looking under the small gap. Another knock