Phil's Point of View:
I love you, Phil.
Those words were on repeat everyday, every minute, every second in Phil's head. The last thing Dan said was that he loved him. He hoped, truly hoped, that Dan had heard that he loved him too. He really did love Dan.
With the note, it gave Troye and Tyler the hope of another tomorrow. It gave them a hope that Phil couldn't find for himself. They were eager to go to the main land, to get out of the hellish nightmare that they were living through, but Phil wasn't. This nightmare, the losing of Dan, that was never going to go away. He would have to live with the memories of him killing the love of his life, his best friend, his own ray of meme trash sunshine. With the hope of reaching the boats increased with Troye and Tyler, the will to live decreased with Phil. He lost Dan. What did it matter?
When they reached the docks, Phil almost sobbed. He didn't know from joy or dread. At each of the docks was a group of people, at least five or six to each group. There were mixes of boys and girls, adults, teens, and children, and they all looked like they had been through Hell. As the three boys made their way towards the mass of people, some of the groups stared. Phil wondered if they knew who they were, if they were still important to be remembered for their internet humor. The idea of someone recognizing AmazingPhil with Tyler Oakley and Troye Sivan made the blood in Phil's veins turn cold. They would ask, they would want to know what happened to Dan. They would want to know why danisnotonfire wasn't with them. He would have to tell them, or Tyler would tell them.
"Well, it seems we weren't the only ones to find the note," Troye said. Phil couldn't tell if he was shocked, disappointed, or surprised.
Instead of making a camp really close to everyone, the three boys decided to camp away from everyone. They were close to hear bits of conversations though.
"I didn't see the note, Emily did, but she's the one who decided to come here. She thought that no one else would show. I honestly think there are no boats."
"We've been over run with zombies for nine months now. Nine damn months, and now people are coming to get us? I think it's all shit."
"I think France or Spain is sending people. If it was the U.S. they would be sending people to bomb the city. They wouldn't care about a rescue."
"I didn't think so many people were alive. We've been out there for months and now we see people. It's like everyone was in hiding."
"They were in hiding, Nathan. It's the zombie fucking apocalypse. Did you expect everyone to walking around, shopping, turning into zombies in the middle of the street? Ah, yes, another day in Britian. The sun is shining, David is in the street, foaming at the mouth as he turns into a zombie. What a wonderful day!"
"When you say it like that..."
Phil didn't mind the bickering. It allowed him to focus on something other than Tyler and Troye.
Well, some what.
Tyler was snuggled up to Troye, obviously asleep. Troye was holding him close and being his pillow. An ache in Phil's heart swelled, tears stinging in his eyes. He wanted that.
Phil wanted Dan to be okay, to be alive with him. He wanted to have Dan curled up to him, holding close to keep warm and comfortable. He wanted Dan to fall asleep on his shoulder. He wanted Dan to be alive, to see the hope that they were going to get on a boat and get out of here. Wanted him to know that they would be okay. He wanted Dan to make a joke about Dil or something to make the hurt go away. He wanted Dan to be smiling, happy that they were going to go back somewhere with internet. He wanted Dan to make side comments and side jokes as everyone talked about the boats. He wanted to make silly songs about anything.
