Alone

I don't mind

We ended up back in his room sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

"You still want to know what my family was like?" I asked as we sat there in the dark.

"Mmhm." He answered quietly.

"My parents were rich, busy people with no time for their three children. My older sister was actually God in their eyes and my little seven year old brother constantly made fun of me."

"I have a little brother, he's actually a year older than you." He said surprising me.

"That must make this all really awkward for you then." I said and he was quiet a moment. I noticed how I used all past tense words when talking about my family and he just used present tense as if he could fly home and see his brother tomorrow.

"No, not really. I use to think of my brother as little but a few years ago he became intelligent enough where I just see him as my equal now, like just started seeing you. Starting now, I want there to be no age with us, I don't want there to be man or woman, I don't want famous Dan Howell and a fan, I want us to be equals. And if we ever start a new world, I want that to be an important factor we teach our children, that they're all equals." What he said really hit home with me and reminded me that I didn't want to be like my own parents someday.

"I couldn't agree more." I slurred.

"You are so drunk." He chuckled.

"Look who's talking, Mr. Two-thirds of the bottle of champagne." I said back. "This is fun though, I feel so much less alone."

"I know, it's really odd falling asleep in total silence, I'm use to sirens outside my flat or traffic." He said as if he was still a little haunted by what he use to hear.

"Tell me the story of when you woke up and it was like this." I said changing the subject.

"Okay. Umm... Phil and I had went to sleep late, he was in the bedroom attached to this one, and I think I had fallen asleep first. We had just gotten off the tour bus here a few hours before and I was so excited to finish this show and go home. I was so physically and emotionally drained from doing performances every night that I just remember thinking that there had to be something else, I honestly just didn't know if I wanted to do any of it anymore. I felt like a trained monkey and I felt like all of my business out in the open and even things that weren't even true made me famous, all just for money. I felt like... like I had sold my life." He said. "Anyway, I woke up and I realized Phil was gone so I stayed in the room a while waiting on him. I turned on the tv and everything was just static. I got on Twitter and no one was tweeting anything, looked out the window, there were no cars, or people or even birds. I went into the halls and down the streets, to just find absolutely nothing. I just cried, for the first time in a really long time. I thought I was in some sort of horrible nightmare." He said as he stared off into space a moment before looking at me. "I know I was rude when we met, but I was so relieved to find you, I thought I was it."

"Maybe we're stuck in some kind of a time thing or something." I said. "If we do wake up and everyone is back, will either of us remember this? Will both of us remember it?" I asked.

"I don't think it matters. With each day I wake up to what ever this is, I become more and more aware that no one is coming back. Maybe that's why I went so crazy over the children thing earlier, I felt like I didn't see the point of even talking about it if this wasn't even real."

"It's real. Everything about this feels real except for everyone disappearing, I mean it all feels so physically real."

"I know, that's the scariest part, that I know it's not a dream now and there's just no waking up. Maybe I was just in denial." He said. "I lied about being scared you know."

"I figured. Who wouldn't be?" I shrugged.

"Have you gotten this strange feeling yet... Almost... Almost like you shouldn't be here either?" A shiver ran through my spine from his words.

"I don't know, I do get a weird feeling, but that's not how I'd describe it. My feeling feels more haunting. I'm a wimp though so I could just be imagining it. I'm actually scared of the dark." I admitted making him give a little laugh which I had expected.

"Everyone is scared of something." He said not making me feel bad about it at all. It was weird though, I wasn't scared sitting in the dark room with him and I didn't get that creepy feeling when I was with him either.

"I want to go home." I stated sadly "I can only imagine how you feel, you're not even in your own country."

"I don't really mind America, it's beautiful here." He said before turning his gaze onto me. "Do you miss your family?"

"Yeah. I didn't think I would, but I do. They weren't so bad, they just wanted me to do well so I could be happy. My brother is so little, I just want to know if they're okay where ever they are." I said and I felt a knot rise up in my throat as I felt him quietly still looking right at me, so I tried my best not to cry in front of him, but I couldn't help it. I felt a hot tear run down my cheek.

"Is it alright if I hugged you? You seem like you really need it, we both do." I wasn't even stunned by his question for some reason, I wasn't nervous, I think I just needed the hug. I nodded and leaned into him. He wrapped his long arms around me lightly in silence as I cried.

That was probably one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me, that hug meant a lot to me.