Alone

Outcome

I watched him suddenly chuckle.

"Is that what you think this is? Hell? What kind of sins are we here to atone for? Do you actually think we're dead? That makes so much less sense than my theory. This isn't hell, it's real, it's happening and there's some good reason why we're the only ones left. If I was in hell I'd be completely alone." He acted as if I was completely wrong.

"Hell, limbo, it's all the same. I don't know if we're dead, or how we could have died, I don't know if everyone else is dead either. I just feel like I'm here because I was an ungrateful little childish bitch, and probably so were you. I was obsessed with you to be completely honest, it was ridiculous and now I see that. It was pointless and I should of valued the things I had like my family, and how much they cared about me and how hard my parents worked to keep a nice roof over my head. Maybe you took the people you loved for granted too, I don't know, but this makes perfect sense to me. You can't tell me how my theory makes no sense when everyone disappearing makes no sense in the first place."

He sat down on the edge of the bed with me and looked to be in thought for a moment.

"You know what? You're right. I have no business in saying you're wrong. I was ungrateful, not only to Phil, but to my subscribers, they paid my bills which I was also ungrateful for. I feel like maybe I was doing TATINOF for all the wrong reasons. It should of been all for them, they asked for it, they wanted a chance to really see us. Maybe that's why I'm with you now, to show me that you're real, each one of my subscribers are real people with real lives and I should care more about them. I was just so lost. I don't want to think of this as hell or limbo though, it's not so bad being stuck with someone I actually like. I just want to stay positive, not even for myself anymore, but for you too. I like the feeling of hope. It's stupid, but maybe that's why I kissed you, maybe that's why I want a baby in all this, just to create hope. Even if our views are different on this, I think we both have the same agreed outcome, we're not getting out. I just didn't want to make it a bad thing."

I understood where he was coming from. I didn't see any other way out of this either after all this time.

I liked him, I really did. The old me thought I had always liked him, and desperately wanted him to like me back. But the more I was around him now the more I realized I had only liked the entertaining version of him on a screen. Once I really met him I thought I hated him, and it took me a while to actually like him for the quiet, mumbling, less entertaining, dumb mess he actually was.

I realized I hadn't known him at all before this. I liked him now though, not because he was some attractive YouTube god like person or because he was wildly funny or relatable or witty. No he wasn't really that much of an extreme of those things like he was on screen. They were all still there, but I had realized they were all just played up parts of himself.

I really liked him because he was kind and he would sit down and talk to me, he tried his best to understand things from others' point of view. He was just a good person who had always cared about others and seemed to have lost his way and that part of himself for a while.

He really didn't seem to belong here as much as I did, but that didn't matter now. We were both here and he was right, no matter what this was we had to make it better.

We both just quietly sat on the edge of the bed as I looked at the medical book I had put back on the bedside table.

"We should take things slow, like people would before all this. I guess we have the rest of our lives, if not eternity." I finally spoke.

"I agree." He replied.

I slid my hand into his large one and we sat there a moment quietly just thinking about everything.

It didn't matter if this would of worked out before, none of it mattered anymore, this was real life now and we would both have to trust and depend on each other just as we might in a relationship before all this.

I wasn't falling for him, I just liked him, he was okay to be around. But we would need each other for company, to be a team, to be there for each other during the times when we missed everyone else, to take care of each other when the other got sick, to entertain each other, and maybe someday to build a life together.

It was all scary to think about, but we had taken care of each other so far.
I could learn to love him, I knew it wouldn't be hard to fall for such a compassionate person.

"Would you want to do something fun with me tomorrow?" He asked suddenly.

"What were you thinking?" I asked.

"The beach I guess." He shrugged.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so." I agreed.

We went back to watching our movie with our hands loosely holding the other ones between us on his bed.

Edited by Josiemakattack198