Alone

Reality

A few days passed.
Time still passed and I never woke up with him.
Every morning became less disappointing.

The highway flew by me and I remembered the vacant highways in my head.

"What do you want to listen to?" Callie asked.

"Danny Brown." I replied feeling a smile come to my face as she put it into her phone on YouTube.

I laughed at her scrunched up face at the sound of the rapping that I was sure she thought was awful and vulgar.

How could I remember this?
Had I heard the name before maybe in one of Dan's live shows before all this?
I was sure I had.

I knew it was just a dream now. It was obvious to me. I thought it was funny how a dream had shaken me up so much. I felt like a silly little fan girl now. I had watched way too many Dan and Phil videos and went to bed too angry that night.

I still felt like a different person though. I was glad for that dream, it had made me grow up and scared me into adulthood and made me cut back on Dan and Phil videos.

But now I was going to meet them. It was time for this to end and it was time to start a new life. This was more of a celebration of my childhood, a final goodbye and my realization of reality.

"It's not time for me to go in yet, so I'm going to grab some lunch and I'll meet you at our seats. You okay with doing this alone kiddo?" Callie asked.

"Yeah. Don't call me kiddo." I laughed at her and got out of the car.
I waited in the VIP line with everyone else.

I wasn't as nervous as I felt like I should of been. All the other girls were squealing and chatting rapidly with their friends.

They led us through the venue and back to the area where the meet and greet would take place. I didn't talk, I just stood there with my book and phone in hand. I felt like I was in my own little bubble as the world still happened all around me.

I looked down at the faces on my book cover I was holding. I heard screaming all around me, I knew it was them but I didn't look.

The staff packed and pushed us against the wall in our line like cattle ready for slaughter.

I looked up to the little partitioned off area that you couldn't see them around. Girls were being fed in and coming out crying and smiling and each were handed a black bag of items.
I wasn't here for the black bag of complimentary items,
Or even to meet them.
I was here to let go.

There were only a few people now in front of me. I had my book open for them to sign.

I didn't know him, no one in this room really did but Phil. I understood that.

And then it was my turn.

Their security guard motioned for me to come back.

It's funny how my heart didn't beat fast until I saw him.
He looked at me blankly, I looked back, it was as if he had broken.

Somehow we had become trapped in my little bubble of everything moving around us, but it meant nothing, all I could see was him and all he looked at was me. My heart felt like it weighed a ton.
I suddenly wanted to cry.

"Dan?" Phil's words were muffled.

Dan knew who I was, I could see it on his shocked face, just like the face he had made when the world was crumbling down around us, and it could have been again and we wouldn't even of known.

"Amelia." I watched his name leave my lips and something snapped in me.

I ran for him.

He caught me and our bodies collided so hard it knocked the breath out of me just like it had us both in that kitchen.

He fell backwards into the partition completely knocking it down with his body but he still had his arms around me now on top of him.

There were people screaming and I felt hands on me ripping me to my feet away from him.

"No! Stop!" He yelled as he got up. "Just let her go!"

Phil was yelling at him wondering if he was crazy but Dan just looked at me still. Security let me go and our bodies collided again like magnets he held me tightly as people tried to fix the divider.

"I told you everything would be okay." He said. He smelled exactly the same and he felt the same in my arms, I felt tears fall down my cheeks and onto his shirt.

This was real to us and it always had been and always would be.