Alone

Deserted

I didn't cry.
I also didn't feel like eating anymore.
I just went back up to my room in total silence.
My feelings were kind of hurt... probably more than I was letting on.
I just sat there, in my bed.
The silence almost made me believe I had gone deaf or something.
There were no knocks at my door with apologies or dinner.

Just nothing.

He hated me since day one, I don't know why he denied it when I asked him, to be nice maybe? He had to of lied about not liking me just like he lied and said I was an adult, only to blow up and tell me I was nothing but a child to him.

There was nothing wrong with me, no, it was him. He drank, he was hateful, argumentative, and worst of all he was just hell to try to get along with. To be honest, I think I really did hate him.

So why was I still here?

The answer is because I was afraid of being alone.

Is that why he kept me around too? Was he afraid of being alone?

If being alone was the only thing he was afraid of then that's how I can get him back.
I'll show him that I didn't have to be here, that I didn't need anyone to help take care of me, that I was not scared of being on my own, that I wasn't a child, that he shouldn't have pushed me away.

I felt my eyes start to water as I violently jammed some of my things into a luggage bag with hatred. I zipped it up while cursing under my breath. I dragged the packed bag off of my bed and left my room.

I stalled in the now completely pitch black hall lined with doors. Part of me was just scared of the deep, dark abyss of the hall, another part of me hoped Dan would come out of his room and stop me, neither were logical

Come on, if you can't get down a dark hall then he was right.
You're just a scared baby. I told myself.

How would I ever survive out there if I couldn't get past a hallway?

I took a deep breath, gripped my bag and marched down the hall without thinking and just doing it. I made it to the stairwell where it was a little harder this time so I jogged down the steps two at a time. Somehow I made it to the lobby without pissing myself or breaking my neck.

Once out the doors I could faintly hear the unplaceable hum, it seemed almost taunting. I ran out to my car which I had parked right up on the sidewalk in front of the building.
I threw my things in and immediately started the engine in hopes of drowning out the lifeless, droning noise outside.

The car headlights gave me some kind of reassurance and so did the engine. The familiarity of the seats and the smell of home still lingered in the car.

I wanted to go home so bad, but I knew that would be the first place Dan would look for me if he ever realized I was missing.

I stayed on the highway just driving in the dark for what had to of been hours. My eyelids began to get heavy and the center lines in the road started to blur.
I really started to think about where to fall asleep.

Like a prayer that had been answered I saw a sporting goods store with a large front window easy enough to smash the car through.

I went full speed into the window successfully breaking the glass and other items before backing out so I could go through the hole.

I thought about just staying the night here, but it would still be pretty easy for Dan to find me, see the broken glass and my car and know I was here. I had to go where he never think I'd be.

I loaded my car with a huge tent, power bars and drinks, a battery operated lantern, a flashlight, a sleeping bag and a few other items that I thought would be useful.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." I told myself after another long while back on the road. I felt more alert after crashing through a window, but the car didn't look so great. Buildings began to taper off until there were hardly any at all, and soon there was nothing but California desert. I highly doubted he would find me now.

I parked my car a few feet from the road and got out into total darkness and surprising cold. The stars were the only visible light until I turned the flashlight on.

It took me a long time to set up the tent and everything not far from where I parked, mostly because I couldn't really see too much. I began wondering about things like rattlesnakes and coyotes and a plethora of other deadly things, but then I realized something.
I hadn't even seen a single bird or bug since everyone had disappeared, not a dog or cat. Every sentient life was gone except for Dan and I.
I stopped me from creeping myself out, worrying, and thinking about Dan. I desperately wanted to go back to my cozy little hotel room with the last remaining human but I wasn't giving up that easy. Besides I was much too tired to make the drive back tonight.

I cuddled up in the sleeping bag as the eerie humming never ceased almost as if it came right from the very ground I was laying on. I was beyond terrified as I tossed and turned and just listened to myself breathe which was eventually enough to lull me to sleep.

I barely woke up a few times in the night from my shivering before falling back to sleep.

I felt my body ache as I rolled over. My mind went through stages of disorientation. In my mind I was in Dan's bed and the lump in my back was his hand or arm I had been laying on.
I didn't feel his warm body next to mine making me question things until I finally remembered.

I was in the desert and that lump in my back was most likely a rock the tent was sitting on. I opened my eyes to see light through the fabric of the thin walls, at least it was morning.
My stomach rolled and grumbled making me also realize I hadn't eaten anything yesterday. I groaned as I sat up and reached for a box of power bars across the tent.

How long was I going to be out here? I hadn't really packed anything for more than a day really, maybe two. There was no way I was going to teach Dan a lesson by only being gone for one day.

I didn't have to stay out here in the desert I guess, I could just keep driving. But if I kept driving that would mean I was maybe making a choice to never go back. What if someday I wanted to go back but he wasn't there? What if I lost Dan forever?

What would be so bad about losing Dan forever though? What if there were other people out there besides him. If I keep driving maybe I'd come across someone, someone a lot nicer than Dan.

Before I knew it I had polished off the entire box of powerbars. It didn't matter, I could just stop somewhere else and get more. I drank a bottle of water to wash it down before packing up the camping gear and sticking it all in the back seat.

I was more than determined to find someone else out here, I had to. But as I got into the car and tried to start it I only heard a clicking sound making my stomach drop.

Oh fuck.

I tried it again only to get the same result as the first.

Edited by: Josiemakattack198