To my dad...

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You called me worthless,
wished I was dead.
I'm glad I'm not doorless;
'cause I've tried to stain my sleeves red...

I starve because of your words,
they eat me alive,
I don't purge,
but the thoughts still survive.

I heard you scream (to my mom) divorce!
but I couldn't scream back
because my voice was hoarse.
A source of peace is something I can't have back.

I'm tired of the verbal abuse.
You're an alcoholic and you get so drunk
I learned I have no real use.
It's like I'm trapped in a trunk.

I'm tired of the trauma,
you don't understand,
but you too get involved in drama.
At least the abuse isn't with your hand.

I don't even cry,
at least not anymore.
You still make me wanna die.
And when it rains it pours.

I'm so scared of guys,
Almost all because of you!
At least I still have hope of a perfect guy.
Some days I wonder how I'll get through.


My dreams are slowly starting to fade,
I'm starting to go cold.
I try to stay away from the blade,
but it's tough when you don't wanna grow old.

You treat everyone like shit,
and you said you wanted to commit suicide.
For that I've turned into a hypocrite.
I can't have pills by my side.

One day I hope to say
this has to be paradise!
But I have to get passed each day
when I don't wanna live twice.

I've got to remember,
every push is just a test.
Even when it's as cold as December,
to wait for the eternal rest...

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Wrote: November 3rd 2015
Published: 4-23-2016 Jr year 16 years old

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