Scars

I wonder...

I wonder
As I sit and ponder
If he thinks of me,
And wants me for him to see.

I wonder
Maybe I'm just a dunder
But I want to know
If he ever wants me to show.

I wonder
Maybe I was the funder
with all his reasons to end it.
Whether or not I was, it was a damaging hit.

I wonder
As i sit and meander.
Does he ever want me back?
If so will I say it's too late for that?

I wonder
When I lay in my cover.

When I lay as it ever real?
Or was it just the outer peel

I wonder
Oh how I wonder
Will he ever want me again?
Or will I be "just a friend"?

I wonder
My thoughts are more loud than a storm with thunder.
Why did he choose me
If he knew he would leave?

I wonder
If he feels like he has a sunburn
Or if his mind is as cold as rain
Or if his mind is as clear as day.

I wonder
I really wonder
Will our friendship survive?
Or will I even make it out alive?

I wonder
As part of the relationship founder
If we will ever lay under the stars
Or if we'll ever meet again in any bars.

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Extra 'cause it changes rhyme scheme

I wonder
More than I care to admit
It's worse in the summer
Because I can't distract my mind from the hits.

I miss you
More than before
Even more than when we were two
Just know I never wanted to push you out of the door.

I think about you more each day
The clouds come back again
And it takes the sun away.
I want this to end.

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Written: May 8th 2016
Posted: May 11th 2016 jr year, 16 years old