In The Fastlane

Chapter 46

Chapter 46

*Niall's P.O.V*

"Hey Ni," Her voice softly whispered as she sprawled her legs over the crevices on the couch. Small mounds of fabric bunched in between my thighs. My feet curled as I focused on the rippling leather. I didn't want to face her, I didn't want to hear her say anything that I knew would hurt me. "Ni," She cracks again. I shifted awkwardly to the edge of the sofa. The back's of my palms sweating puddles as her breathing staggered near me. Her breaths, each one, was yearning me to speak. I wouldn't, I didn't want to nor did I need too.

"Niall. I know you don't want to hear the truth but the truth is what it is and what its always going to be. Can't you accept that? She confessed reaching out towards me with her hands. I stayed cold as a rock trying to focus on the sound of her voice not the actual words she was speaking.

"Not everything in life is going to go your way," She curses.

"But not everything in life should go this way." I spoke quietly still not lifting my eyes to meet her gaze. I didn't want to see the glazed blue look of her eyes. I didn't want to feel the pain that stung us both over. I wanted to run away, to hide, to be with someone who wouldn't make me feel this pain. I wanted it to be her. Only her.

"We can't control what our fate becomes nor what we become,"

"That's a piece of bull shit that you've been feeding yourself for years." I gritted my teeth and slammed my eyes to meet hers. My fist curled into a ball as I saw her cheeks suck in for air. I couldn't help but keep wanting to say this shouldn't be happening, stop, stop while your ahead. But I just couldn't. The words wouldn't come out, nothing did. Just dry air.

"You don't know me. For god sake you don't know anything about me!" She shreaked throwing her hands up in the air.

'I know enough to know that your making a dumb ass mistake,"

"And so what? So what if I am? Isn't that better than staying cold and emotionless for the rest of my life. You've expressed that's the truth for basically the whole time I've known you. That's what I'm showing. I'm showing of how fucked up your mind is to think you know a single damn thing about my life. You know the cover story. The glazed over made up Sydney Martin,"

"Good to know I never knew the woman I loved." She stayed frozen. Completely stone frozen. My eyes were still locked with hers. Her eyes were cold, dark. Not the sort of lustful dark I had seen nearly nights before. The eyes that stung me in the heart worse than a knife ever could.

"Niall," Sydney yelped. "Niall wake up!" My eyes creased open as I sat up in a shocked and utterly terrified motion. My body was covered with sweat head to toe. Sydney held a sheet around her naked body as she looked at me with pure fear. Fear in what? I wasn't sure. Was she afraid of me? My breath was harsh and fast as I nearly choked myself for air. I looked down at the sheet between my legs. I was fully naked too. Nothing clothed my body but the layer of sweat. Sydney wrapped her arms around my neck nearly flinging herself over my body. She blanketed myself in comfort it made me relax immedietly.

"I thought you were having a heart attack," She panicked.

"No, I'm alright." I breathed out replying with my arms around her torso. It felt completely normal even if it was skin on skin. She didn't seem to mind. My eyes frantically searched her face to make sure she was calming down.

"I woke up to you thrashing around in the bed. Tears were running down your cheeks so fast and your body was heating up immensely. I didn't get worried until you started shreaking."