Insieme per sempre

Chapter 14 ~ Worry

What’s that noise? I thought when my mind woke up enough to think straight. It sounds like crying…Edward? I had yet to open my eyes. Is Edward crying? I didn’t feel him wrapped around me like he usually is.

“Edward?” I asked with sleep heavy in my voice. I sighed and rolled over slightly, trying to see him. Once I heard a muffled sniffle and a shaky breath, I propped myself on my elbow and looked over at him. He was turned away from me, his head down.

“Edward? Look at me please, what’s wrong?” I asked with a shaky voice myself. He shook his head and sucked in a breath. I couldn’t take not knowing if he was hurt or not so I got out of bed and walked around to his side.

“Edward, look at me.” I whispered, my hands trying to pull his away from his face. Once I knew he wouldn’t give up I let go and slumped to the ground, waiting for him to function. About 1 minute later, I was getting impatient. I started running my hand up and down his arm, fingering his fingers and his forehead. Edward took several deep breathes and finally uncovered his face. I took the opportunity to lean in and give him a chaste kiss. Not saying anything, I looked in his eyes and silently asked if he was ok. He nodded while he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards him. I obliged and stood up to lie down next to him again. He didn’t give me a chance to go to the other side of the bed; he just pulled me onto him from where I was.

When my body was pretty much on the bed, Edward grabbed my body and pulled me closer, burying his face in my hair. What was bothering him? He needed to talk, if this was about his past…this needs to be taken care of. I feel so awful, not thinking about getting him to talk to a professional earlier. Just because he was adjusting well didn’t mean that he was 100% perfect again.

My hands rested on his chest, which was rising and falling calmly. I could feel his every breath on my hair. Every once in a while I could feel his soft lips press onto my head and his arms constrict tighter around my waist.

“Edward, will you please tell me what’s wrong? Why you were crying?” I asked as softly as I could, not wanting to frighten him with the shakiness of my voice. He didn’t say a word, just shook his head quickly into my hair.

“Later…please Bella?” Edward half whispered half breathed. Though I very much wanted to know, I had to trust him. I would talk to him tomorrow when my mind wasn’t clouded about going to see someone and to talking to me. I fell asleep quickly once my resolve was clear. Feeling Edward’s protective arms around me made it easier to sleep too.  

The next few days went by very eventless. I tried to get Edward to talk to me again, he refused. He seemed off, like he was becoming depressed. I was worrying continuously and with the start of the school year approaching, I didn’t know how I was going to focus with Edward like this. I had been staying with the Cullen’s for a few days now, hanging out more and more with my new ‘group’. But I couldn’t have fun knowing that something was wrong with Edward. So I took action, I was going to help Edward as much as I could. If he wasn’t comfortable talking with me about his constant nightmares, then he needed to see someone. Well, I thought, he should see someone regardless. He had been through enough.

Esme was in the kitchen, her sanctum, one evening when Edward told me he was going to bed early. So I took advantage and helped Esme do the dishes from dinner that night.

I talked to her about Edward of course, I was worried and I told her he needed to talk to someone. She had agreed, saying she noticed the change. Esme reassured me it wasn’t my fault when she saw the tears falling down my cheeks. She also told me that she had called in and made him an appointment with a therapist thatCarlislelikes to see. That appointment was scheduled for today.

Charlie called at least 3 times a day, but I never wanted to talk to him. Not yet. I was still mad that he had taken Jacob’s side, but I knew that he was regretting it, which made me feel bad for holding a grudge.Carlislehad talked to him one of the times, told him what exactly he had done to me and how I wasn’t ready to see or speak to him yet. He was reassured that I was safe here, that I was free to go when I pleased, but always welcome.