Because Of The Bucket List

Chapter 23

Chapter 23

J A C E

I lay awake on the couch with Emma in my arms and Arielle's head on my hip. I swear this is one of the best moments in my life. I've grown so close to Arielle the past few months. I've opened myself up so much and I'm finally admitting my feelings for her. Not to her, though. I still feel like I could get hurt by her and I don't want that type of vulnerability. No one thinks of me as the scared guy. But I am. I'm terrified to open up my heart to anyone. I've never been in love because of my parents. They had a rocky path. My dad was always stuck at work. Eventually we all found out he was having a relationship with one of his interns. She was only 18.

My mother was so heartbroken and I couldn't stand to see her so hurt. I promised myself I would never let someone hurt me like that. Shelby hurt me. Even though it was a one night stand, she hurt me. I thought she hated me and Emma. I couldn't understand how someone could hate my child so much. That broke my heart. Emma didn't deserve that.

I like Arielle, though. She's great. A little bit of a smart ass at times, but she's sweet. She's kind, caring and gorgeous. Not that Chase, being the piece of shit he is, would ever notice. I hate him. He leads her on constantly. Taking her on dates and making up fake apologies. I don't think she has talked to him in a while though.

I know that I like her. Man, I like her a lot. I know that she is too sweet to break my heart but I can't move past everything I've seen with my parents. I've been getting therapy for it for some time now. I sort of had to when I started ignoring Emma. I couldn't stand to look at her. She looked so much like Shelby and that killed me. I hated the stupid bitch for just dropping her own damn daughter off on my steps. Eventually I realized that Emma was nothing like Shelby. She was sweet and innocent. She has her own personality. Now that she's getting older I see more of myself in her. She has my nose, eyes, even my smirk. That makes me so happy. I love her more than anything and I feel like a fucking dick for being such a horrible dad the first year she was here. Arielle has taught me so much about being a dad. I actually know how to change a diaper now.

I hope one day I can show Arielle how much I do like her.

Short chapter but I hope you got to see inside of Jace's head a little. What do you think? I love to know all of your opinions. :)