Perfection Of Insanity~Peterick Fanfiction

Chapter Six

Trigger Warning:Self Harm

I just stroke his back and waited for him to do something. Something like stop crying and talk to me,but his actual reaction came out of nowhere.

He suddenly stopped crying and stared at me with tears still in his eyes.I was concerned by the terrified look on his face.

"Patrick are you-"before I could ask him he pushed me back and crawled away from me until he reached the corner of his room "Trick what happened?Did I do something-"

"Don't call me that.Get out"he said.I tried to walk towards him but he started yelling at me "DON'T GET CLOSE TO ME, LEAVE!GET OUT" I attempted one more time to reach him "NO" was his response but it was so loud that it scared me pretty bad.

He was panting.I just got out the window and heard it shutting closed seconds afterwards. I didn't turn to look at it; I just got back in my room and tried to think what I did that upsetted him so much.I failed so bad that I got angry with myself.Why is everyone missing when I need them?

Patrick's POV:

Everything is the same.Everything is gonna happen again.Everything he does;the way he acts,he talks,he moves it's the same.

I was having a panic attack on the floor again.I couldn't breathe.Every memory made my head hurt more.I couldn't control myself anymore.Every time those memories flash back in my mind I can't stop myself.

No blade available.I started scratching my hand.Older cuts started bleeding as my fingers sped up and my nails dug further in my skin every time.Everything around me was so blurry and the only thing I could focus on, was the pain I felt.The pain I caused to myself and the pain the memories caused to me.

So focused that I didn't even noticed Joe who came back from wherever he was.So focused that I didn't felt my tears falling down staining the carpet.So focused that I couldn't feel the pain I tried to feel.

Joe grabbed my hand but found it really difficult to stop me from what I did.I could finally make out his voice now as I still tried to continue.

"Patrick,Patrick stop"as soon as I managed to hear those words,I did as asked and gasped for air through my sobs.

I looked at my hand.My nails were stained red and my whole hand up to my elbow was bleeding.I started panting faster as I remembered what happened and tried to think what I would answer to the questions he would ask me,because he would for sure,but I couldn't.I couldn't focus on the thing I should.Irony.

"What is going on?"he asked loudly so I could hear him through my crying.

"I don't know,I really don't it happens all the time but it's not my fault,I can't control it, I'm sorry"I spoke too fast but he heard every word I said.

I swept my tears away but that way,blood smeared all over my face.

"That's okay..."he whispered.How can this man always forgive me everything I do?I wouldn't. "...but we need to clean you up,okay Patrick?"I nodded.

He helped me stand on my feet again and asked me to follow him after he folded my sleeve in a specific way,so that the blood wouldn't leave any stain.

We walked outside of my room and I can tell that the doctors looked at me.We ended up in a room where it really looked like the nurse's office at my school.

He put some blue lastex gloves on and soaked some cotton in alchohol.He rubbed it against my blood covered skin and it really hurt.After he managed to clean as much as possible,he put some bandages on me and threw his gloves away.

"Do you feel better now?"he asked.

I nodded.The truth is I felt hungry,but I'm used to it so I'm not gonna mention it at all.

"Patrick please,I really want you to do me a favor which would mean so much to me."he said and looked at me in the eyes. "I want you to talk to me.Please.As much or little as you want but I need to know some things about your past.I can't work with you if I know nothing about you,okay?"

I didn't react.I wasn't sure.But that's the least I can do for him.

"Maybe if you want,you can start by telling me what happened today.Can you try?"I shrugged my shoulders.

"I mean...I'll try but I'm not sure"

"That's the point.At least make the effort,because it's better than nothing"I looked at him and then on the floor.I took a deep breath and started talking.

A/N:Super short chapter but I thought it's better than nothing.Major writer's block.I rewrote this chapter about five or six times and still can't get it how I wanted.Anyways though by June 14th finals will be over and updates will be scheduled again.Love you and take care :) (did you guys noticed the new cover?I just felt the need to mention it dont kill me :') )