Perfection Of Insanity~Peterick Fanfiction

Chapter Nine

Trigger Warning:Self Harm Actions Included

Patrick's POV:

He didn't say anything.That's exactly what I didn't want to happen.Of course.

I want to keep talking to him but what if he doesn't?What if I'm the reason this happened to him and now he hates me?And what if I'm talking to a wall right now?He could be asleep,but how would I know that?I'm really confused.

It's already getting darker.I was about to go back to my bed but I remembered something.

"Also Pete,I want you to know for earlier this morning; I'm really really sorry.I didn't mean to make you feel bad.It wasn't your fault.I really wish I could tell you more but I can't right now.Just please don't blame it on yourself. I probably need to get ready though,Joe said that I would do something with Ashley and Brendon so I don't want to be late.I hope I'll see you later.I really do.Bye for now"I said and laid on my bed.

I hate this.

Joe opened the door and I guess it's time to go.I stood up and foloowed him once again.

Everything around me seems so familiar already and I'm only here a couple of days.

He walked up the second floor,where was much quieter and less crowded.He left me ouside a room and told me to walk in.

This place does not smell like almost every other place in the clinic.This one smells like cinammon and apple for some freaking reason.I'm still in the small hallway it has inside though,so I have to walk further in.

The whole place has a really dark lighting which really calms me down.I reached a living-room-like space where I found Brendon sitting on one black bean bag.

He was really focused on something but I couldn't really make out from that far.I squinch my eyes without moving,I don't want to make any noise,and look closely.A reddish, yellow thing lingering right under his palm and right above a silver box.That's a fucking lighter.He's burning his hand or something?

I felt my body freezing in this position.What am I supposed to say right now?

"You're gonna stare me for a long time or will you come and sit too?"he asked as if he already knew I was there.

"Brendon are you...?"

"Yep"he said quickly but never took his gaze off the flame burning his flesh."But don't tell anyone"he said.

I sat down a bean bag away from him and studied his actions.He would bring the flame closer to his skin but not too close.Then he would move it really closer and his hand would suddenly jolt upwards because it got burnt.But then he would do it again.

After a few times repeating this he quickly pushed the top of the lighter to turn it off and threw it in his pocket.I didn't really understand but then I heard a female voice still in the hallway.

"Hey guys,how are you doing?"she asked and walked in the room.

Brendon smiled widely and I just adjusted myself on my bean bag.

"Hey Ashley.Sorry I didn't come today but...you know"

"Yeah I do"she said and frowned shortly but then quickly smiled again and looked at me "And how are you Patrick?"

"Well not much changed in an hour or so"I said and smiled at her.

"That's true"she said and sat down in the middle."So I'm gonna explain to you,Patrick some things that Brendon already knows since we've been doing this almost since he came here.This is a session where we talk and discuss some things that might bother you apart from the group.It used to be just Brendon and me but since you are going through something simmilar,you'll do this thing together so that you know you are not alone and have someone to talk to.Alright?"she asked